Split Personality

2010-08-09T04:29:00.002+08:00

Holla!

Can't believe after a period of what 1-2 weeks, I come straight back to the old habits of looking at her pic.. This is someone else and not the previous one.. Which one am I talking about? That one.. Lols.. Anyway, damm.. I can envision marrying her and all despite not knowing her well and her sometimes cold shoulder.. According to my sis, I tend to fall for people who gives me the cold shoulder.. Grrrrr cos it might just be true.. And yet this is the first girl, who might not be having emotional baggage.. *Khai bangs head! How ehk?

On a side note, I might have a solution to my housing problems but firstly, I need my father and his payslip and CPF statements but he's away from Singapore at the moment. Plus I need my uncle to follow me to the HDB to take a declaration of unemployment..

And that's where the biggest problem yet.. The fella apparently, went to Malaysia for a holiday and is not contactable for the past week.. All of us are worried sick about him and my mum will be submittiting a police report over there.. Haiz! Worried sick about my mum too cos she is stress about this.. I know her, and I think she's blaming herself for letting him go..

Damm! Irritating kan.. Anyway giving someone the cold shoulders myself.. Don't know why really but I do feel bad.. But something tell me to continue with this.. Ciaoz!

2010-07-29T01:16:00.003+08:00

Hey ya!

Its been months since I lasted posted anything but never did it.. Before I go crazy with this head, better to shout it out loud huh..

Well, firstly on 9th June at 11pm, I met with an accident.. It was a junction and I was going straight.. The traffic light was turning amber thus I speed up as I knew I couldn't break in time.. Suddenly, out of the blue, a malaysian motor from the opposite direction came out of the lane to turn right.. I only managed to saw his face seconds before my right foot clipped his motor.. Instant pain rushed to the body.. Looking back, I saw the malaysian motor sped off while looking down my foot was already swollen and bleeding..

The diagnosis was the 2nd and 3rd Metarsal fracture while the 1st toe was fractured too.. Metal wires were inserted and till now its yet to be taken out.. Can't walk without crutches as I'm not supposed to put weight on it.. Thus I'm on Hospitalisation Leave till now..

My pay going to be cut soon as even now this current MC is using 2 of my VL.. 10 more days of MC and that's it.. After that, will be No-pay leave.. My raya will be on crutches.. Already my eldest sister was on crutches.. Fuck la that Malaysian motor! I know I may have went too fast (around 80km/h maybe?) but it was my fucking right of way.. I don't usually blame people but fuck u have seriously menyusahkan hidup aku.. And the fucker just got off fucking scot free.. I'm already worried financially.. People keep on saying that don't worry about the pay but they aren't paying the house.. I am! Knnn siol.. Fuck la.. Seriously I got this so much pent up energy I want to beat your fucking face in till it bleeds.. Then I will take all your money, and cut off your fucking leg and see how you will handle it..

And I just miss everything in my life.. Being on crutches it is so hard to go out.. Nobody visits me anyway and as far as I know, they have forgotten about me.. Looking at Facebook is just so painful as I can imagine the fun they are having.. Even if not fun, the experiences.. I just miss everybody.. For this, I have to thank Zaid and Ang for keeping me accompany through the kopi sessions..

Haiz.. I'm in a fucking rut and I don't even know what to do about it.. I know I should do something worthwhile or learn something now that I got the time but I don't even know how..

2009-12-11T10:38:00.003+08:00

Hello you.. Reading your blog just downright changed my mood from tired and sleepy to sadness.. I really feel for you.. But there's only so much 1 can wish for.. I wish I was your protector but you never let me.. I so want to just msg and call you, but I'm not willing to let my heart be broken trice.. I still remember an old post of yours where you can't fake your feelings anymore.. It still haunts me that it was up to there that you thought of me.. You need me, you'll accept me but if you don't, you push me away..

But no matter what, I do still wish I can protect you from all evils.. And no matter what others say to me, Yes, I still do miss you..

C&C

_____________________________________________________________________

You're right.. You can hope I understand but I don't.. Bila I ajak you keluar, the silence, the short replies and the last minutes appear.. Bila yang lain ajak, you reply tapi I tetap ditolak tepi.. Aper yang you nak I understand? Angapkan tanggan I gatal.. Yang cuma I can see is that how much you appreciate me.. Takpe lah, Chuk.. Its okay, I appreciate and will still cherish the past moments we had.. Its getting harder for me to push away the truth..

2009-12-08T18:58:00.002+08:00

Hola! A special message from Me to You.. C&C

I would be lying if I say I didn't try my best to not think of you the whole day.. Pushing any thoughts and memories of you.. I'm also not surprised by the msg at 5 in the morning.. I sort of expected it..

I don't really know anything at the moment.. I do so want to believe you.. But this is exactly what happen months ago.. With the card.. The silence and the rejects.. This time with the questions.. The silence and the rejects.. I do know that you are sick, and I apologize for ever doubting you.. I wish that things could have been different.. Even just for today..

Remember the question that I posed to you a few days ago.. You left me without an answer but lifted my hopes.. The hopes are now dashed with me still not knowing the answer.. I doubt I will know the answer from you, but I do believe I know the answer.. I don't want to forget you, but I guess I have to.. I never expected much but I just wished to be with you.. I risked it all after months of getting back my sanity, throwing my doubts into the wind and risking that the glue that is holding my heart won't break.. It is still holding on, though weak.. And I won't be lying because what I'm saying is the truth and that I hope you will be that glue..

From a special part of my heart,
From me to you..

2009-12-04T13:52:00.000+08:00

2009-11-30T15:42:00.000+08:00

Forget
by Rosa

Forget the times she/he walked by,
Forget the times she/he made you cry,
Forget the times she/he spoke your name,
Remember now your not the same.

Forget the times she/he held your hand,
Forget the sweet things if you can,
Forget the times & Don't pretend,
Remember now she/he's just your friend

2009-11-24T03:33:00.002+08:00

Hola.. Today started wondefully and ended as bad as can be..

After 2 wonderful past days and nights, I started today morning shift with train.. Due to delay, we cleared only the 810 and 1425 train.. I cleared less then 80 pax.. =)

Well the reason I feeling so down was that, after the past 2 nights, I was confused.. I am happy whenever I'm with her, as if it doesn't matter who else is there or whats happening.. But yet, I don't really know where I stand with her.. Whether an interest or just a best bud.. Wanted to ask her today so went to supper with the group and planned to send her home.. Due to my stupidity of expecting she to be of the same wavelength, I was shocked and sad that she took the bus..

I felt down as if a spanner was thrown to the tyres of my motor while its moving.. Ride my bike to the nearby basketball court and smoked.. Thinking to myself.. When will this end? I have to know the answer anyway so I went for it.. I decided to head down to her house after all..

Msg her that I was at the nearby block, though the msges may have sounded of wrongly.. Wanted to just her come down so that I could talk to her.. But lo and behold, best fren was there.. I hid.. I wanted to talk to her first before anything.. She went home, and he waited.. Waited, and waited, and waited.. Couldn't take it that I'm neglecting the guy of his much needed rest, I decided to talk to him after all..

Turns out that she thought I was extremely angry at her.. She's wrong.. How could I be? Sure I was upset, but I won't be angry with her over such thing.. Best friend decided to follow her cos he wanted to explain to me..

2nd spanner, only this time it hit me while it was moving at 100km/h.. Badaboom!! If only, he wasn't there.. I could have explained everything.. I could have asked her what I wanted to ask.. I was willing to accept any answer but I think I totally lost my chance.. And the answer still remains unanswered, unasked.. The guy may have come with good intentions, but he left with his role fulfilled.. =(

I feel fucked up! I wanna cut myself again! Someone help me!

2009-11-12T02:57:00.012+08:00

Holla! I know this should be updated a long, LONG time ago but I either have no mood, too tired or just too blank to write anything..

Life is really an empty mess right now.. Its back to the period where I'm in a slightly depressed mode.. Not as bad, as the suicidal-depressed about someone, but I hate even the slightest of it.. I don't even know whats the problem now.. Maybe I'm just too stressed financially.. That I know is at least true.. Just wanting to concentrate on my family and bike, and not thinking about anything else really now..

Another topic to open soon will be about my this year achievements (!!!) and next year aspirations.. Take Care and Adios!

The reason why I'm really blogging is my new poem.. So without further ado:

____________________________________________________________________

Rain

Its 2 a.m. in the morning,
Drip, Drap the sound of rain falling.
Round orbs, with the wholeness of the colour red,
But not with anger nor hate.

Lying in the cover of darkness, without the use of a veil or hat,
Till the sun comes up, a perpetual smile emanating no matter what.
An empty thrash can can be filled to brim with nothingness,
An entity that can equalled to emptiness.
Not with love, hate nor sadness,
Spiralling oneself to madness.

When the sun goes down, the walls come up.
All attempts and facade of paint dries up.
Drip, drap the sound of rain falling,
With no one else in the squared walls surfacing.

2009-10-16T11:37:00.002+08:00

Holla!!

Firstly I would like to wish a BIG thank you for all those who wished me.. =) Yes, I'm a year older already and the prime age of 23.. =) Gettttiiinggg Oooolllllldddd! Lols.. A BIG thank your for my presents from my sis too.. A uber cool racing motor gloves, which is small but is very nice to wear, and an Autograph body foam..

Lols funnily enough, instead of receiving presents, I was the one who gave out 1.. Well, somebody needed a cheering up and I did my best.. The gift includes The Terminal vcd, which I've actually been looking for quite some time.. But oh well, I can always buy it again if I see it ya.. =)

So anyway spent yesterday using the computer till the rain stopped around 4, and proceeded to the motor tiam to fix my brake, clutch lever and the front number plate.. Met up with Zaid for tea and bought some stuffs for the cheering, before proceeding home to rest.. Waited, waited and waited till finally the hour comes.. Cutting cake time with beloved sis and mum.. =) Weee!!

After which proceeded to Grandlink building at Geylang Road, which includes me getting lost for about 10-15 mins.. Hehehehe.. Joined Ezan and Lela for some karoake, before another of their team mate joined.. Okay, at least, I didn't sing that BADLY yesterday.. Especially after the horror of falling off my bike infront of them the previous night.. Lols!! Sang till 240, and after much chagrin, decided to go back home.. Lela and the team mate took cab, while I sent Ezan home.. Lols, first female pillion, so must becareful and slow2.. =P I only told her that after reaching thou.. Heheheheh oooopppss!! Wound off the day with another kopi tea session with Zaid...

As for today? Going to send my bike for inspection later, before proceeding back home to rest for today's night shift.. URGHZ! Haf some thinking to do to.. Take Care and Adios!

2009-10-13T00:49:00.002+08:00

Holla!

A post about the present, the past and the future..

Present: Congrats to Khairul Anuar Ali aka Khai Striker aka my older version is officially engaged ytd!! Weee.. Seriously happy for him.. One of the best guy guy I know, bar a few faults.. He deserves it.. I seriously wish the best for you 2.. =) Can't wait for next year for the Nikah..

Speaking of which, this seems to be the year of engagements la.. First it was Ah Pai, then my eldest sister and now Khai.. Yat you're next!! Or maybe its Farhan! =)

Past: There was a suprise a couple of days back, and I'm seriously confused right now.. Things happened that made me think of the past.. Happy things, happy thoughts in turn that led to the worst emotional part of my life yet.. A depression that lasted for months.. I hope for a clear head, and yes Zaid is right.. I am waiting for a sign.. Haiz! I don't know what to do, what to think, what to eat and yes I still don't have any mood for work..

Future: The past has make me think of my future.. I hope that the sign will come soon.. Zaid and Edah told me to stop waiting and try it, while Alvin told me to stop waiting and forget it.. I can't do both.. Emotionally scarred and scared.. Of the future, I still see myself wanting to start my degree next year and again I'm scared to venture out to the unknown.. Whether I'm able to cope with the packed time and whether I can afford it..

How? I wish for a clearer head! I wish at times like this that there was a mentor, like a father figure, who can guide me and teach me the ropes instead of I grappling and trying to learn from mistakes..

Take Care and Adios!

2009-10-11T04:02:00.002+08:00

Holla!!

Just got back from a great ride on the balls-busting scrambler of mine.. Wanted to go to explore Henderson Waves, cos I keep on seeing beautiful photos of the place.. Check my favourite website: www.gothere.sg! Seems easy enough.. Or is it?

The result is a painful 1.5hrs ride where at the end of journey, we had difficulty getting of the bike.. Hehehe.. And even better! We DIDN"T even reach the place.. Grrr!! Was lost and eventually reached SGH!! (Just checked it and I know where I went wrong.. Must try again!! =P) Anyway, smoked a ciggarette and off we decided to turn back home..

We went towards AYE, and all the way straight when I realised we going in the wrong direction again.. Towards Jurong!! Omg.. Lols.. Luckily, on a whim, decided to exit Clementi and try our luck again.. Was despairing as I don't really know where I'm going when lo and behold, I saw the CTE/SLE sign.. Phew!!

I must really explore more of Singapore.. Either that or someone buy me a navigator phone for my birthday.. =)

There's more to tell, but I don't feel safe writing it here.. Lols! Let the story be dead then.. I hope I know everything soon.. Up to me to find out yeah.. Andway, Take Care and Adios!

2009-10-07T03:21:00.002+08:00

Hola!

Okay.. I'm feeling much betta and worse right now.. You must be thinking I'm crazy but yeah in a worse condition then yesterday as I feel sick.. Down with flu and back pain.. Took some pills so yeah feeling betta now but the nose feels so painful cos was sneezing the whole day.. Hate to work during such conditions but what to do.. Confirmation in another 1.5 months.. Don't really care for it but I don't know why I'm chasing it..

* Just had a thought.. When I'm sick, I don't take MC.. When I'm not sick, I take MC.. TRUANT! hehehehe..

* On a second note, just remembered my first MC.. I told a lie saying I was on leave just to go out for bowling and drinking at starbucks.. Haiz.. =( Can't seem to stop remembering those magical 2-3 months

Anyway, I feel much betta then the angsty Khai yesterday night.. After blogging, I went off to meet Alvin, my Chinese brother.. Gave me some talking to and advices.. I treasure them.. I treasure him.. Thanks bro! Anyway, lets see where it goes and how long I can do it ya.. And I do seem to realise it, I just can't forget it.. =P

Also, just went back from an impromtu meeting with the KMC (Khatib Medical Centre) peeps: Shufi, Yat, Sadiy, Rash and Zaid.. Been such a long time since we all met up.. Planning to go Genting in January.. I really want a break from work, but I wonder if doing so I'm putting myself first before my mum again.. RESPONSIBILITIES is irrits!

Take Care and Adios!

2009-10-05T20:20:00.002+08:00

Hola! I'm still addicted to the Richard Marx song - One More Time.. I wish time could stop when it was happier!

And ...

OMG! I'm from a bored and lonely mood to a freaking furious, punching-bag kinda feeling right now! Seriously, the attitude of some people... I don't know, don't care whats going on between you too.. But for you too say that about her, TO HER, just pissed the hell out of me.. Words, maybe just words.. But do you know how painful words can be? And seriously, I can't accept my loved ones being talked to like that..

If you got a problem, come find me man.. Seriously! 9856 1843.. Thats my handphone number! Work times, I can't pick up the phone so do leave a msg.. Leave her out of it.. Be a man for once in your life! Stop weeping and saying hurtful things to those that YOU LOVE.. Either that, or fuck off!

Adios!

2009-10-04T03:39:00.002+08:00

Holla! Okay again don't really know what to blog! I'm just wasting time till the recent ICA raya pics are uploaded! =)

Anyway, me thinks that I'm spending too much time with Mat Rep.. I'm starting to feel like a doormat, and also that her friend is giving me the shoulders.. I don't wanna be paranoid but the feeling just won't shake off.. Haiz! So confused right now! Grrr makes me so down again!! I'm a screwed up guy.. And I just so want to leave the company and disappear!

On a further note, after OT-ing last train, decided to explore and try to head down to Jalan Kayu with my bike with Mat Rep.. And its a success trip.. Woohoo!! I now know how to Jalan Kayu! =) More choices for Midnight supper now! Weeee.. Wanted to slack at Seletar Damm but was starting to rain so headed back home.. And it still have not rain here.. Grrr!!

Anyway, thinking of going to the bike Mech at Yishun Industrial to tighten my chain as its really irritating the hell of me.. Want to straighten my brake bar and change my spark plug too.. Hope it doesnt cost much cos I on a tight budget now.. See how it goes yea!

Learnt of a shop in Woodlands that sells 2nd-hand IU unit too which cost $70, including activation, so wanting to try dat out too.. If available, it makes a big difference as compared to a $160 new IU unit.. The balance can make my bike more sweet looking yeah!

Okay 5 more pics too go! Captions to be added and finally I can head off to bathe.. Heee!! Goodnight, Adios and Take Care peeps! I should say Good morning though!

2009-10-03T13:36:00.003+08:00

Holla!! Been having the urge to blog lately but din get used to it.. Why the sudden turnaround you say? I was supposed to delete this blog really but never got to it.. Don't ask me why but maybe I'm just too sentimental la.. =P Even went all this way to change to this blogskin which I actually like..

But now that I'm here I don't really have much to blog about.. There's really not much change except my attitude towards life.. Its hard and its about to get even harder.. But I will again strive onwards to positivity.. =)

Targets this year:

1) Hidden
2) Get my childhood dream of scrambler
3) Own my own house

1.5 is achieved so at least a pass la.. Sure it sucks not to get all but at least I'm alive to try again right.. =) Maybe not No.1 in the future though.. And just you all were wondering, yes I passed my 2B and already bought my scrambler.. Even already had an accident with it.. Minor though! And the last wound on my leg, with stitches removed, will be healing soon! =) Promise to upload pictures soon aite.. Already took photos using my handphone!

Targets next year:

1) Start my degree course next year
2) Start and nearing passing my class 3 license
3) A joyful and smooth going wedding for my eldest sister

Yeah and so if you can see next year will be tough financially for me.. Will have to plan carefully for this.. I've started writing a monthly earnings, expenditure and savings table so hope it helps!

Oh and on another note, I'm really hating my job.. Extremely hating my job as in really would not like to step out of the house soon for my Saturday 2nd Afternoon Shift! The way I see it I have 3 options:

1) Quit this job and forgo the bonuses and high pay (Harder to study cos no money!)
2) Change to booster team where I have more friends ( Harder to study cos more afternoon!)
3) Suck it up and tahan (Emotionally bad!!)

Oh well, more pondering I guess!! Before I go, a snippet of a poem that I'm writing and a new favourite song which I'm addicted to!

Poem:

I still miss you,
Through the scorching and the dew.
From the sand dunes to the highest loft,
You're never far from my thoughts.

Pictures deleted; Sms gone; My eyes all but cut out,
But what matters most is that its still in the heart.
.............. ( To be continued)

One More time by Richard Marx:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8BnSfdk6Cd4

Adios and Take Care!!

2009-05-17T19:07:00.002+08:00

Okay I was supposed to delete this blog.. But I dunnoe why it is still here.. The mood swings are like undulating terribly.. 1 minute happy, and the next 5 depressed.. I feel like drinking till I get bloated.. I feel like cutting myself till I bleed to death.. I feel like punching myself till I get swollen.. I feel that I still do ..... Whateva..

So anyway this will be the last post till I delete this blog soon.. I still gotta rip out all the pictures and poems..

*The First thing I do in the morning, and the Last before I sleep*

2009-05-07T20:09:00.005+08:00

Hola! This is the 160th post and for the foreseeable future, this is the last post.. A blog that spanned almost 23 months, and now it is too painful to even log in anymore.. This blog is full of my misery and will no longer cease to exist soon.. It will be gone in about a week's time, or earlier once I rip out all the poems and photos in it.. I hope I can leave this misery behind.

Before I go on, I would like to give a special shoutout to a small friend of mine.. Never could I expected her to be my confidante but thanks to you; for keeping my chin up and helping me through this hard time.. You told me that I will feel better but I hope so cos I can't take this anymore.. Not a single drop.. I wish you the very best and happiness, and may you have a clearer picture..

Anyway, I did what I had to do.. It wasn't the way I wanted it to be, but in a 2-page letter.. I have all but given up any hope, but I hope that my words will lead you to happiness.. No matter wherever/whenever/whoever it needs to be.. I'm willing for you to be angry at me, ignore me, hate me just for you to be happy! I'm willing to suck it up and carry this burden just for that.. I really do wish you to be happy! I used to pray and will continue to pray at night that this to be true and your smile to reappear.. I hope that 1 day I will be able to see that.. I know now Chuk that yes, I do love you.. Goodbye!

Work will never be the same anymore.. I no longer look forward to the job, cos it brings back memories and tuggings.. Friendster is deleted and MSN will to be rarely used.. My Facebook will still be infrequently logged in and my handphone no. still is 9836 1843.. To all my blogger friends, I wish you too happiness in all aspects..

My heart is now locked and the keys thrown away.. I will never let myself feel this way again..

Will I be happy? I doubt so..

Will i thrive? Maybe not..

Will I survive? I will trudge through life as it goes on.. No matter what, I still have to keep this roof over my family and bring food to the table.. The dream for a motor may be dead but I will still do try to get my own house by this year.. That is the only thing left in my life now.. So don't you people worry about me kays..

For the last time, Take Care and Adios!

_____________________________________________________________

Hanya Ingin Kau Tahu - Republik

2009-05-04T01:55:00.002+08:00

Hola!

Had another long talk with Zaid at the kopitiam.. Shared our problems and our frustation.. Okay mainly him, but there was a point where it really struck me.. Really treasure these moments where it hit me hard..

I won't lie.. I won't deny.. I'm having a terrible time these past few days or weeks.. When I'm at home, these periods will hit me left, right and centre.. Lifeless.. Moodless and thinking about everything but nothing.. I've been trying to fill in these spaces with activities but failed.. Man, I've even missed a whole week of running due to feeling down..

Despite what Zaid told me and advised me, the answer have been laying down next to me all this while.. Been pushing it away.. Been ignoring it.. Thinking of the best.. And now I've almost decided to go for it.. Can't wait for thursday to vent it out.. I really need to.. Please pray for me that what I'm doing is the right thing.. Hope that no more hiccups to this day..

Msn Nick : Dat's where I'm closest to heaven.. Am I meant to be broken?

Take Care and Adios!

2009-04-28T16:48:00.002+08:00

Holla! I just blogged that I had this feeling that I would screw up at work yesterday and I did it today.. There was an intrusion exercise where an imposter would try to get in, and I failed the test.. I failed! FAILED!

On 1 hand, I'm glad that it finally happened but I am sooo seriously down at the moment.. Sure most of them said it was hard and Nadzirah said that she would have got it wrong too and probably let the guy go.. She said that I was unlucky.. Others said that don't give up and that its normal as in there are other people who have failed or worst..

But the point isn't all that.. The point is when the officer called me into the office and said, "Khairul, you failed the test".. Failed! FAILED! Just as the world look slightly brighter, I'm brought down back smashing to the ground.. I suck.. I failed! Imagine if it wasn't a test and the person was a true impersonator.. It meant that I didn't do my job.. Could I even have had done a proper job anyway all this times.. Doubts are running here and there, everywhere.. I seriously can't believe I failed.. In all aspects of my life, I've failed over, and over AND over again..

I know others think I'm overeacting and I probably am.. Now I can only think of that in addition that I'm a failure and I would end up a lonely old man who is fat and ugly, struggling to even get ends meet, I would probably never even last long in a job and never achieve any 1 of my dreams..

I'm a failure and I suck! Don't even have the energy to run right now.. Please leave me alone.. Take Care and Adios! Khairul the loser signing off..

2009-04-27T22:45:00.002+08:00

Holla! Yesterday was I would say a very happening work day.. Lols..

Did departure which I don't really like.. Its so monotonous that I'm kinda scared that I will do mistakes.. Actually, lately been having alot of thoughts.. Thoughts including of work that I will do a major mistake.. I am extremely scared that I will make 1.. And in this job, even a small 1 would prove disastrous for my future.. Haiz..

Anyway, I cleared 3 Kenyan passport.. KENYA!! WTF.. In a malaysian taxi somemore.. No offense to Malaysian, but alot of cases are from their taxis.. So when I saw the taxi, I was like fuck.. When I saw the 3 passengers who looked like Nigerians, I was like Super Fucked up.. When I saw the passports, I was like shaking.. Hehehe literally.. I said to the driver to hold on, and ran out looking for somebody to ask.. She said it was okay, so I let go.. But damm I'm still thinking about it.. Sheesh!

Did OT from 10-1 too.. And at exactly 1240 something happened.. lols won't say what but it was my first.. Heeee!! Hahahaha!! Wah!!!! I was flustered to say the least but I'm glad at how I reacted.. Hahaha.. Shows the kind of man I am to think of it.. The person who did beside me said that I probably should have done something else, but I don't want it.. =)

Ended work at 1 and signed the form to exchange duties with Aidil on the 3rd of May.. So on that day, I will do a full double shift.. Damm on a sunday no more.. Will be shagged to say the least but oh well.. He's doing my 31st.. So I can go out till my heart's content on the 30th which is my 1st morning.. Hope I do go out that is.. I donnoe.. I hope so too..

Anyway, Chuk bought for me a cheese hotdog, though I told her not to as I was scared that we couldn't meet.. Luckily her break was at 1 too.. So I ate the hotdog.. Though it was small, I'm touched nonetheless.. But still, I damm wished these small moments could last longer.. Aidah commented to me something, which I guess is kinda true.. But how will it move on? I don't know.. I know I'm still trying my best.. =)

And my whole body is aching now.. Thought of a new objective that I am so gonna work hard at.. That is to loose more than 10 kg to 60kg.. Impossible? I don't think so.. Like I said, this is the year where I will achieve everything and try my bloody best.. Take Care and Adios!

2009-04-25T00:36:00.002+08:00

Holla!

Okay seriously had a good day at work just now, or rather yesterday.. Had good, GOOD counters! Lols.. But I dunnoe la.. I still worry about this job.. No matter what people say that its an easy job, they won't know till they do it.. Just 1 mistake and that's it.. Everything down the drain..

Anyway I was thinking whats the difference between me now and me pre-NS.. And I realised that it was self-initiative and indipendence.. I used to complain, get depressed etc about my problems.. But I didn't do anything about it.. Not a single thing.. Just words which did much good..

And now? I believe that this is the year that almost everything will be solved.. A make-it or break-it year.. The difference is this time, its not only through words.. I'm really making an effort.. Housing is still a big rock but I do believe that I will be able to move it onto my back soon.. First dream of motor will also be on the shoulders soon.. Financially will be alright once these holes are plugged.. Etc..

"Thinking Positive" helps.. But now I wanna add.. Don't only think, but Act! =) It helps to have good friends to share my problems with..

Finally went out with Chuk after so long.. Gave the hoodie and glad that she like it but damm the DVD special that I planned was spoilt cos my DVD player couldn't play cos something wrong with the battery!! Grrr!! But nevertheless I had fun, and I hope that many more will be on the way.. She's troubled thou.. It worries me so much and I just wished that I can be there and help her.. I understand and been dere once where I kept my problems to myself.. And it hurts big time.. I will do my best to make that problems go away!

Time to bathe, and sleep.. 10 hours at work tml.. Urghz! Blardy briefing.. Lols! Take Care and Adios!

2009-04-23T13:12:00.002+08:00

Hola! Just came back from my 3rd TP.. Its another fail.. I could say the easy way out and say that the nerves got the better of me again.. But yeah, who am I kidding? I knew I was gonna fail even before I slept the night before.. Where has the Positive Thinking go?

I'm okay really.. Am gonna wait till pay day cos so broke now.. Then I will decide whether to forgo the $1.3k already gone or pump into 1 last try.. As for now, I'm not gonna think about it.. Was my dream and still is.. But its no longer in my mind nowadays..

Ignorace is Bliss? Zaid ask me..

I say yes.. I wish I didn't know so many things.. That I could be some idler whereby someone takes care of me.. Instead of the other way round where I go seek to make life a better journey.. I wish that life wasn't so hard, and every small effort goes a long way.. But does it?

I want a complete family. I want a motor, prefably scrambler, to call my own. I wish I have a dream job that not only others, but myself will be proud of. I wish I had U. But do I?

If it wasn't for my happy-go-lucky nature, I would already have grey hairs. If it weren't my tough outlook of life, I would have hurt myself (again!). If it weren't for all this, I would have killed myself.

Take Care, Adios and Adieu!

2009-04-20T18:35:00.004+08:00

Hola! Had an up-down in the past few days..

Firstly, I forgot about my road revision on Saturday and was too tired for circuit revision yesterday!! Damm! Damm! $40 down the drain.. Sheesh! I now only have 1 circuit revision tomorrow at 6 before the test itself.. Still not gonna think about it.. So hmmmm..

Anyway the reason why I was too tired to go for yesterday lesson was due to work.. I worked afternoon shift from 3-10pm.. After which I decided to OT for a whole shift.. Night shift is 10 hours so a total of 17 hours.. Crazy? Not really cos I got a good reason.. Heeee!! I wasn't tired thou, just back aching as usual if I don't get my rest.. Even going back I could only sleep at 12pm and woke up at 5.. Insomnia? Nah just didn't want to sleep I guess..

Its a good thing that I woke up thou cos I got some errrmmm tips for the BIG suprise on July 22nd.. I know its a long, long way to go but I got errrr lots of studying and research to do.. Heee... Its a suprise till then.. *Winks!!

Kinda sad that I din't go out todae as per normal.. But I guess its give me errrmmm more time to study.. Lols! This positive thinking is really thanks to Zaid.. Never would have though he could give me them lessons and the new outlook in life..

Even had enough brain juice for a poem on Saturday's night OT.. Finished it at 3.27 a.m. mind you! So heren it is.. Its eddited for some reason.. The original will be writted in a book which I'm gonna pen soon.. Mine own poem book.. =) So anyway, here it goes:

POSITIVITY

Family and financial problems will forever be,
Everything else is now what I can only see.
Under this cold and unforgiving sky,
Stress just continue to pile.

Do not fret and please do not cry,
Continue reading and you'll know why.
"Positive Thinking," Zaid told me,
"Positive Thinikng," is what I have to be.

Forget the past, trust the eyes,
Believe in thyself and not what lies.
Do not pressure. Take in this advice.
Trust in yourself and you will fly.

Accentuate your strengths,
Keep the doubt at lengths.
Street smarts; Good friends; the list won't die,
Creativity and a big heart that money just can't buy.

Everything now starts with the letter P,
It rhymes with see, but it ends with E.
P-O-S-I-T-I-V-E

I don't know why but I just love this poem.. The original is better but too bad I don't think anyone will ever see it.. =) Gonna go off a for run now.. Positivity breeds the goodness in me.. Take Care and Adios!
_____________________________________________________________

Bt.I.Sl.Wh.Yu.Ge.Me.A.Ce/ I.Hs.So.Mh.Nt.To.Go.Ot.Wh.Yu./ I.Hs.Bn.16.Ds/ I.Kw.Yu.Dt.Rr.Bt.I.Fe.Yu.Ad.I.Wl.Sl.Ty.My.Bt/

Sorry if nobody understands this but I just wanted to blog this out.. Its a secret language that only I will understand.. G.M.A.C please!

2009-04-18T10:39:00.003+08:00

Hola!!

Again had no mood for work yesterday, but I had a mentee.. Firstly, I used to hate that word cos it sounds so crude and I din't think the word existed.. But Lo and Behold! It does.. It means someone being mentored.. Lols! Still sounds vulgar but at least its a proper word.. Heee!! Anyway I was rostered to do departure cars the whole way so it helps that I had a mentee.. Hahaha.. I did 3-5 and he did till 9 before I end off the day.. So yeah that helps! =)

After work met Zaid, my only MAT friend, for rojak and drinks.. Suprisingly had a good talk-talk with him.. His words were true and suprisingly I agree.. Man, you have changed alot in thinking since the first time I saw you in camp.. For the better.. And I seriously wouldn't have expected to gain some insights in my self about my problem..

I learned 4 things yesterday:

1) Accentuate my selling points/strengths which I used to believe I had none.. Mine I believe is street smarts, level headed and the fact that I choose my friends wisely.. In other words, " You are who you perceive to be, not deceiving yourself to be."

2) Think Positive.

3) Think Positiive!

4) THINK POSITIVE KHAI!

Yeah, so thanks Zaid!

Khai picked us up to slack further around 1 and we headed for some makan.. I ate Prate Chili, Onion and Egg and Teh Halia.. Blardy hell.. I tot chili was free but it costs expensive that prata! Grrr!! And after that off we departed to Mustapha cos I wanted to get some stuffs.. Even saw a cool thing for another suprise! Cooollll!!!! Once I set it up, I will take a pic to show you guys...

Reached home around 4 a.m and slept at 5.. Strangely I woke up at 10 instead of the body alarm I set at 11.. Oh well! Its all good cos I need time to freshen up so I can do the suprise anyway.. Hope I can do OT tonight!!! Despite sleeping only 5 hours, I still wanna do it.. Haha worse come to worse, I'll just faint.. Bluek!

Try harder every single step, and Think Positive! Take Care and Adios!

P.S Oh I forgot to mention that I'm learning the guitar now.. Heee! Thanks Zaid! Might as well I make full use of my time huh.. =)

P.S.S My hp bill including last month outstanding amounts to $115!! Argh! Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha...

2009-04-16T21:04:00.002+08:00

In Detail

Looking at every single angle of an old relationship issue might be a great way to evaluate it, but it can also be paralyzing -- every new point of view could serve as an excuse to do nothing. So sooner than later, you're going to have to make up your mind about what to do. The confused phase you're in right now indicates that action is better than inaction -- because even if you make the wrong choice, at least you will gain insight about what to do next.

Action is better than inaction.. Easier said than done..

Bleed It Out

Bleed It Out - Linkin Park

Yeah here we go for the hundredth time
Hand grenade pins in every line

Throw em up and let something shine
Going out of my fucking mind

Fithy mouth, no excuse
Find a new place to hang this noose

String me up from atop these roofs
Knot it tight so i won't get loose

Truth is you can stop and stare
Bled myself out and no one cares

Dug the trench out laid down there
With the shovel up out of reach somewhere

Yeah, someone pour it in
Make it a dirt dance floor again

Say your prayers and stomp it out
When they bring that chorus in

[Chorus]
I bleed it out digging deeper
Just to throw it away

I bleed it out digging deeper
Just to throw it away

I bleed it out digging deeper
Just to throw it away

Just to throw it away
Just to throw it away

I bleed it out
[End Chorus]

Go stop the show
Choppy words and a sloppy flow

Shotgun opera lock and load
Cock it back and then watch it go

Mama help me I've been cursed
Death is rolling in every verse

Candy paint on this brand new hearse
Can't contain him he knows he works

Fuck this hurts I wont lie
Doesn't matter how hard I try

Half the words dont mean a thing
And I know that I wont be satisfied

So why try ignoring it
Make it a dirt dance floor again

Say your prayers and stomp it out
When they bring that chorus in

[Chorus]
I bleed it out digging deeper
Just to throw it away

I bleed it out digging deeper
Just to throw it away

I bleed it out digging deeper
Just to throw it away

Just to throw it away
Just to throw it away

I bleed it out

I've opened up these scars
I'll make you face this

i've pulled my self so far
I'll make you, face, this, now!!!!!

[Chorus]
I bleed it out digging deeper
Just to throw it away

I bleed it out digging deeper
Just to throw it away

I bleed it out digging deeper
Just to throw it away

Just to throw it away
Just to throw it away

I bleed it out digging deeper
Just to throw it away

I bleed it out digging deeper
Just to throw it away

I bleed it out digging deeper
Just to throw it away

Just to throw it away
Just to throw it away

I bleed it out
I bleed it out
I bleed it out

2009-04-16T20:52:00.002+08:00

Hola!

Had a solitary day today.. Alone just to think stuffs.. Mind in a whirl, which needs to be calm down.. But just like a storm in the seas, it won't go away till the sun comes up..

Reached home about 11 after the run and decided to sleep.. But after a nightmare try as I might, I could not sleep again.. To hell with it, and decided to vent it out by going bowling at the Civil Service Club.. Reached around 4 and played 4 games.. Perharps I was too tired, or I couldn't concentrate but I played my worst games in the long run..

A miserly score of 243.. Thats the total of 4 games.. So do the maths.. Geeezzz! After which, went to sit in the nearby RC at BLK 418 till 7.. Listened to music and just sat there while the ah peks were staring at me.. It was pointless and decided to go home the long way.. Well I thought so it was.. Board the NEL and alighted at Boon Keng to take 857.. The bus only took 40 mins.. Hmmm thats good for other days then..

So here I am.. Still thinking.. Sitting in front of the comp.. Not knowing what to type cos the brain is messy right now.. Okay shall shut up now.. Take Care and Adios!

2009-04-16T09:31:00.002+08:00

I don't know what to think, to do anymore. I don't know anymore. Disappointed? Upset? I guess. Maybe a little more.

I still remember what you told me recently, or rather suggest. Are you trying to make it come true or to prove it right? Cos if you are, its turning out just damm right. I know I shouldn't react this way but I seriously don't know.

I'm going to eat a light breakfast and go for a run.. A long, LONG run.. Hopefully I can sweat or bleed this out.

2009-04-15T18:54:00.002+08:00

Hola!

Urghz! Working in another 3hrs time.. Dammit! I hate working night shifts, this despite I feeling fresh most of the times.. Lols.. Its either that or I just lost the mood for work right now.. Heee.. Well morning shifts I just kinda wake up and go straight to work so I don't think about it much.. Heee but those are the times I feel the most tired.. =P

I cleared a Baen bin Buyuk recently.. I just like stared at the name imagining how cool it would be if I could just pencil in 2 letters.. Bacen bin Busyuk.. LOLS!! Yeah I'm cruel and I love spotting people.. Heeee... These are the moments that I really look forward to.. Hahahaha..

Okay back to the moodless Khai now.. Hahahaha.. And that includes a very hungry man.. Going to eat now.. Take Care and Adios! Promise a full update soon..

2009-04-07T17:13:00.003+08:00

Hola! I just woke up!! Still tired.. Arghz!

Mind you, I worked night shift the day before and I couldn't sleep before work.. I.E. I woke up at 1230 p.m. and was awake all the way till 1030 a.m. Strangely I did not feel tired at all.. I've worked night shifts before without feeling tired but I had naps.. So to not sleep and still not feel sleepy I'm sure that this team is working out for me..

Alas.. I still wanna change team to the booster team which does not have night shift.. To me working in that team does not really have any prospects for me but I hope it would be worth it.. A specific team of course.. SMA.. Going into this team will increase my changes of going out with Chuk.. Neither does she approves of it, but I think this is for the best.. Hope it comes true..

Another night shift tonight.. Pffffftt!! Khai is feeling sick not, since 2 days ago, and its just getting worse.. From my experience its lung infection again.. Damm! Damm! The shortness of breath, the sorethroat and coughs, the weird feeling on the throat! Grrrr!!! Not sure if I want to visit the Doc but we'll see how aite!!

____________________________________________________________

A part of my Friendster Horoscope :

Events may catch you off guard, but there's a strong sense of balance within you right now, so you'll handle things with grace. In a relationship, small efforts will move the biggest obstacles. Sure, things may not move as quickly as you want, but you'll get satisfaction just from trying.

I definetelly know what I what this to imply 'cos been trying to think of something.. But out of luck!! Grrr!!! Really have to think of it tonight den? Lols!! Hehehe!

Take Care and Adios!

2009-04-05T21:10:00.002+08:00

Hello!! Sorry for the long, LONG, ancient lack of updates huh!! Well I just wanted to get a part of my life done first before I update this.. Incase I jinx it.. Hehehe

I do know that I am still smiling from yesterday night.. All the way today, through work and till now the smile has yet to wipe off from my face.. =) Aidah says I'm tersangkut and yes I do think I am now.. I seriously hope nothing will spoil it like it has all this while.. I don't want to be hurt again but attraction is hard to resist..

The long-thought off plan might not have worked out but yet everything went smoothly.. Prepared a poem and our photo in a card, which I wrapped, before giving to her.. It was super-glued so she couldn't open it but I wanted her to know there is something different yesterday night.. When the moment to open it came up, I was scared.. Scared to be rejected.. But when I saw her smile, I know everything is okay..

We are not attached, not yet.. But the green light is given by her.. She tells me that I do stand a chance.. How can you just not smile hearing that? Thanks.. Thanks for making my day and giving this unforgiving smile of my face! =)

She is scared that her bad temper will rear once again and that both of us will be hurt.. I am scared, that being me, there will be something that will spoil it all.. I do know that I am willing to work hard for it.. I will even try to win her dad's heart (who scares the balls out of me mind you!!).. So yeah! Life is good...

The only thing I hate is that our shifts.. Argh! Grr! To meet up once every 8 days is so infuriating!!! Grrr!!! Yes, I am Tersangkut!! =P

Take Care and Adios!

2009-01-30T00:29:00.000+08:00

Hola!!

I'm FREAKING, BLARDY tired!!!!!!!!!! Urghz... Promise I will update and reply your tags soon aite beloved people.. Gonna go sleep now.. Will be the earliest I sleep since the past 2-3 weeks.. Haiz dats how tired I am now.. Take Care and Adios!

2009-01-26T02:45:00.004+08:00

Hola!! Sorry for the lack of updates but I really don't have the time.. Average I wake up about 1130 and leave the house by 1.. Reach home about 12 and sleep by 2.. That means about just 3.5 hours at home.. And that is average, which doesn't includes on days that I have motor lessons and/or late night outings.. =)

Thursday motor lesson was the first ever since I failed my TP on 30th July.. Not only was it blardy hot, I was also very awkward on the bike.. Went for a few rounds first before trying out the course.. Managed to fall twice!!! Bluek! But Sunday's lesson was great! The weather was just nice and I managed to clear all the course perfectly only the turning out part is abit uneven and I tend to do wide turning I think.. But that should be okay hopefully within my next 2 circuit revision.. But first next, would be the first road revision after July 30th 2008.. Hehe..

And how is work you might ask since I've started doing by myself.. Thursday went excellently with me even getting a case.. Swee!! Friday was abit awkward at the start and I was all over the place ( and that is in the bad sense), but managed to cool myself down and proceeded to do as per normal.. =) Saturday was abit cock-up when my password had some problems and had to be restarted.. I also keyed in wrongly for someone and thus they had to be referred in to the office.. But overall the past 3 days went almost A-Okay! With more practice I should be doing just fine yaww..

Today after motor lesson, proceeded to my favourite Aunt's place and I decided to give them a treat.. Wanted to buy KFC but the store in Pasir Ris had already closed, so I proceeded to buy Macdonalds.. After which slack at their house forawhile before we departed to join them in their yearly bowling session.. Or so I thought.. Haha it was damm packed to the house.. When we reached it was queue number 64 and we were number 86.. What's with me and queue numbers hmmm? Grrr... Went to ate satay instead before going back to their house to play games before me and Mum left for home about 1030.. Kinda really tired now cos I 've not been able to get my beauty 8 hrs of sleep so off I go to recoup all that lost hours.. =P

What Hurts The Most lyrics

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do

Take Care peeps and Adios!

2009-01-21T12:59:00.004+08:00

Hola!!

Haha in relations to the previous post, I've actually spent the 2k on debts, bills and treats.. I had yet to spend a single cent on myself other then on food and ciggarettes and necessities.. And for the past 2 days have been on a shopping spree!!!!! Weee!!!!!!!

1 Puma Shoe (Cos mine 3 pairs don't fit comfortably), a Timberland wallet (Cos present wallet is torn), a Juventus Jersey (For work cos I'm plain lazy to iron other clothes) and a Black Addidas Shirt/Jersey with gold strips (For work AND outings)..

I've been aiming the t-shirt/jersey for so long, at least 3 months or more?? Damm blardy happy that I got it.. Weeee.... Yay!!!

Ermmmm... All "Original Rejects" of course!! LOLS!!!!!!! I don't believe in spending so much and the cheaper it is, the happier I am.. Heeee.. Total price for the 4 items - About $75

Also bought 2 MP3 players and a portable DVD player from ebay.. Total price - About $150

Original Reject = $75
Original Electronics = $150
Price of 7 new items = $$Priceless$$

Khai is a happy man!!! Weee
Okay time to save what money I have left.. Lols.. Intention is to stay home the only off day I have left this month aka Sunday staying at home and finishing up most of the 13 Dvds that I have yet to watch...

Today will be the last time I have a mentor for the next 3 weeks.. Meaning I will be on my own tomorrow onwards.. Boo or Yay?? I won't know yet, will I.. But I do believe that all will be at least reasonable..

Taking about work, oopss.. Its time to bathe and leave work now!! Take Care and Adios!

2009-01-16T00:09:00.002+08:00

Hola! Haha just wanted to post about 2 new discovery that I made.. A shocking 1 really..

I got my pay of erm more than $3,000 last Friday night.. Not a week past and when I checked it there's only $1,000 left!! WAH!!!!!!!!!! $2,000++ gone in 6 days.. Hehe I seriously CANNOT handle cash.. =P

Next, is that I quite pity the lorry drivers whenever there's long jam.. Remember the Mas Selamat times where reports that the drivers had to endure more than 24hrs jam.. Well, I expect them to be nasty and angry but they were suprisingly polite (!!).. I was especially tired today so took my sweet time but they were still gracious.. This as compared to the pampered Singaporeans that we are.. Complain at every single thing.. I admit I also complained today.. And I am still angry about it!! Grrr..

Wanted to extend my PDL and I straight away took a queue number once I reached SSDC at 1230.. Mine no. was 69 and the queue was at no.53.. So off I went to book my lessons, 9 in total, and TP date =) .. Not gonna curse it by saying when is it.. Bluek.. Anyway so off I waited for mine turn for the PDL.. I left at 150, a pissed young man.. Imagine it took them almost 2 hours just to go up from 53 to 55!!!!!!!!!!!!! WTH.. Even I don't do my job that slow.. Pissed off..

Working has been good for me.. Takes my time and mind off matters.. =) Take Care and Adios!

2009-01-15T10:58:00.002+08:00

Hola!

Sorry for the lack of updates but been really tired this past few days.. Arghz the 6 days work week has been taking a toll on me.. Not only me, mind you, but my whole batch just looks too tired too.. And that with mine late night outings and sleeping late.. Hahaha..

But yeah.. I can't wait for this 3 months to end.. Bluek! Been waking up quite early too as opposed to being able to wake up at 1.. Hmph! Monday woke up at 8 to go HDB, Tuesday woke up at 11 to go to POSB and SSDC, yesterday woke up at 830 to go swimming and today woke up at 10 to go SSDC.. Haiya all those sleeping hours wasted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On the other hand, work has been suprisngly good.. =) What used to be I dread going to work due to being scared that I will make mistakes, now is to just do it.. Well done Khai!! Lols.. More or less about there really for me to learn the basics.. Now left to learn the loopholes and ba da bamm!, ba da boom! I'm ready to be on my own 2 feet.. Still get nervous whenever there's phone call from the office thou.. =P

Can't wait for this weekend.. Good food promised for Sat late night Boy Perancis outing and Sun Family outing.. And will finally post photos along with all these mish mash of words (I don't have the time to take any actually =( ).. Take Care and Adios!

Hah! Feel lie I was offered a stick in jest and then the cigarrete was thrown away!

2009-01-11T22:11:00.002+08:00

Hola! Sorry for the lack of updates..

But finally I can go back to my regular 1am sleep... Lols.. After a week of waking up at 420 (which was freaking dreadful to tell you the truth), finally I can go back to waking up at 930.. Yay!!!

Anyway, work has been good.. Much or less got the hang of it, but still commented by mentors not to be so fast.. Hmm I din even realise that.. Must remember to take my own sweet time!! Hahz.. Hee.. Still worried about 22nd onwards though where I will have to open my own counter and no mentors beside me.. Hope I can learn all that I neeed to learn within this 1 week left!!!

Gave a treat to my fellows kakis from HTA just now.. Ate at Beach Road before playing pool.. Haha been such a long time since I played and took some time to get the groove back.. Alvin, we must play more.. Haha now let the student become the teacher la!! Hehehe..

Ohh.. Cut my hair toO!! Abit short, kinda like army boy, but the length is just nice too me.. Must learn to style it a different style only.. Haha will be experimenting this week.. Lols hope the public who will go through my counter won't be shocked.. LOLS!!

Paid most of loans too!! Wee.. A big load of my shoulders off.. Now left is to pump some money to pass my motor, which has been long awaiting.. Bluek!! And hope my meeting with the HDB officer will go smoothly tomorrow.. Wish me luck peeps!!

Take Care and Adios!

2009-01-07T21:24:00.002+08:00

Holla! Okay sorry for the lack of updates especially now that I've started work.. Thanks for the gesture though Princezz Azie!!

Anyway, the reason for my lack of updates is the shocking roster.. Not really shocked cos of what I heard but damm it that its true.. Mon-Sat till March.. More bad news to come.. I will be alone by myself after 2 weeks (!!!!).. That really, really put pressure that I have to learn/absorb as much as I can as fast as I can.. So far its been okay, but I'm scared that I'm doing the wrong things and missing some procedures thus quite kan cheong sometimes.. Got the basis of the normal steps of doing but damm I hope I don't pee in my pants in 2 weeks time.. Hehehe

Next the real reason for the lack of updates.. There will be some special morning shift, and it started this week.. 6 A.M - 1 P.M!! And the bus will pick me up at the main road at 5 A.M thus I will have to wake up at 4.20 A.M!! I was so tired yesterday that I fainted at 7+.. And this coming from a guy who usually sleeps at 1..

BLUEK!!

Work for the money!! Seriously, I can smell the money soon.. Hee.. Okay I got to go.. Sorry for the lack of updates but I have a riding theory test tomorrow at 8 and I've only studied abit.. Scared like crazy.. And cum Friday, I will be even more nervous.. Happy regarding Friday but Nervous like hell.. ARGHZ!!!

Hope to tell you guys good, GOOD news from tomorrow and Friday on Sat aites.. Take Care and Adios!!

The following two pics are taken from the checkpoint.. Cool or what!!!

2009-01-04T19:06:00.002+08:00

Hola!!

Firstly, Imma gonna start work tomorrow.. New surroundings and all.. I don't actually look forward to changes so I quite dread tomorrow.. Hope I can perform the work.. This is so stressful!!! Arghz!!

Next, my urticaria is starting again.. Been ignoring it the past few attacks but went for a long and hard run today and went up to 2nd stage of itchyness!! Arghz!! Either I'm too "fit" or its just that been such a while since I ran to get it out of the system.. Haiz! Back too eating medicine again then.. Sobz!

Not really an uplifting post I know.. Sorry!! Hee enjoy the music.. Soak in the last few lines of the song.. So meaningful..Take Care and Adios!

Tercipta Untukku - ungu

2009-01-04T00:34:00.006+08:00

Hola! Okay this will be pics galore blog! Lols... Compared to the previous blog that is.. Hehe..

Anyway, had an eventful friday really.. The first event was the last day of training at HTA!

It started off with a bad start really as in the morning there was the theory validation test.. Which I blardy studied, to the extent of not celebrating New Year's Eve!! Hmphh.. And the officer-in-charge instead wanted us to perfect and rehearse for our performance first before letting us take the test.. Obviously some information will be lost for the test then.. I supposed that the lyrics of our performance will come out for the test??!?!

Oh well.. Went through the test which I will pass I think.. I THINK!! But won't be as good as my practical.. Damm!! Anyway, had our performance thingie which was the whole batch singing "To Be With You" by Mr Big, bla bla bla.. And now officially I have graduated from the course, and is now a full-fledged Immigration Officer!! Macam Paham!!! Lols!

And then the cam-whoring begins!!

A picture before the Christmas Performance really.. But Man, doI like this picture.. Does it look like a Boy Band Cover or what!! Heee.. The best batch mates I could ever have!! Sad that most of us will be to different places.. In order of the picture: E-pul : Tuas, Me: Woodlands, Wan : Coastal, Man : Woodlands

Haha another of my favourite picture too! Before the practical test.. Look at us 2 jokers in the front! Hah!
I'm closest to this guy.. Funny as hell!

Me and Aidah aka Edah aka Sergeant Aidah aka Sedah.. Lols!

Me and Rhaudha aka Odah aka Ods aka Sergeant Odah aka Soda.. Hehehe =P

Seriously gonna miss this group of people.. Even though the bulk is going to Woodlands with me, there will be different teams.. So peace to all of ya and may you guys have a good working journey..

Okay enough with the ICA pics.. Ended work at 430.. Had a last smoke break with the gang and departed for a long time waited meeting with the poly buddies.. Alvin and Joleen were late thus met with Su Anne first at 530.. Went walkabout before finding some shelter to sit and talk craps, which we haven't done for quite some time huh!! Miss those times.. Alvin and Joleen joined us at 6+ for dinner before we move to Admiralty Park as they haven't been there before..

Oh yes.. Played sparklers! Played at the Fitness Corner and talk craps whole night long till almost 1 I think.. Haha imagined that.. More than 7 hours! Seriously had so much fun and seeing them again made my whole day so much better.. =) Plus, it was a cheap outing which I spent less then $15, putting aside ciggies of course.. So yeah.. We must do this some time again ya! Next outing of course, will be sooner with my pay treat.. =P

And yes! I lied about the photos.. Here's more coming your way..

Su Anne
Alvin
Joleen posing with the unlit sparkler.. Cute.. Lols

Haha so that's all to this post.. When there's no words there's really no words.. But when I promised pics, man is there so many pics!! Kekekeke.. Enjoy! Take Care and Adios!

2008-12-31T21:12:00.005+08:00

Hola! Okay sit back because this will be a wordy entry..

Firstly, was the practical test in the morning.. Did not really study but was slightly confident, and with the tips I've garnered from people, it proved to be a breeze.. The task was to sieve through 6 passport and determine whether they are counterfeit or genuine and the reasons so.. I'm sure I won't get full marks but I'm sure that I will ace it, and DEFINITELY pass! =)))

Anyway you might be asking what I'm doing at home at this moment.. Well the reason is this morning was only the practical half.. There's a theory test this Friday.. Booo!!

Despite being even more confident in passing as compared to my practical, I had yet to touch a single topic just now and is fearing the backlash of OVERCONFIDENCE!! Thus I'm sorry to those who asked me out including Shufi, Alvin and Zaid, but thanks for the offer.. I'm staying home this New Year Eve.. I've already went through to do mindmaps of 1 book, and there's another book and some notes to do mind-map of.. Tomorrow will be spent staying at home reading and soaking up my mindmaps.. Whoever said I was lazy to study..

Ooops!! That was me.. Hehe but yeah that's the main reason for staying back home.. Plus the issue of saving money still weighing heavily on my shoulders!! 12 more days to pay day!! Wohooo!!

In a few more hours: 2 hours and 38 mins it will officially mark the end of 2008 and the start of 2009...

So how was my 2008? I had to say at the middle of the year I was in a terrible mid-life crisis.. Not knowing what I was doing, struggling for my livelihood, recovering from another failed relationship.. I was even hurting myself again, thinking what have I done/changed so far compared to 2007..

And now looking at the bright side, I would say it has been a great year.. Sure I could have done better in alot of the parts in my life, but I always believe in pain and experiences just makes us stronger.. Let's break up the year 2008 in parts that I can remember

- Went and came back from New Zealand in Jan or Feb.. Enjoyed so much, and solidified the frienship that will be lost soon as most of us were ORD-ing.. Went through heavy homesickness and despite enjoying NZ, was glad to be home

- Feb to 7th June was mostly taking off and Leave from Army.. This was the most restful part of the year but I wished I had taken some effort to do more productive things..

- 8th June was ORD LOH!! Sad to be leave the service really as the 2 years I had was good and to make more life-long friends is worth it.. Names like Ang, Striker, Yat, Han just pop-out.. I couldn't wish for a better 2 years!!

- 9th June to 28 July was straight to work at EPM as Marketing Assistant.. Should have really waited longer rather then jump straight into this job.. Alas, it was the only the starting of a renewed lowest depth in my life.. I was constantly under stressed and except for the great receptionists under me, I hated the job..

- September to Early November was plain MISERABLE... I was under heavy stress to pick up the pieces of my life.. Seeing my loved ones struggle for life, I placed even more pressure on myself to ease their burden.. Unfortunately, despite sending over 100 over resumes, had less than 10 calls for interview.. Definitely the worst time of my life in the past 5 years, partly due to the heavy pressure I placed on myself.. A notable part of this period was also the highest and lowest part as I got to know someone.. Added to the fact, that it was the first time that I ever asked a girl for their number straight out.. I still remembered how my heart beat like there's no tomorrow.. Memorable

- Finally got my ideal job as ICA specialist.. Wasn't the original first choice but after the failed attempt to secure a marketing job, decided that this was the best for me.. Plus I would have Striker to guide me along.. Friday would be the end of the 6 weeks course that we had as ICA specialist, and despite the short time period, made much deep bonds with the people that I will definetely miss in my life.. A toast to them! May you guys have a happy working journey in ICA, no matter how long you are staying
________________________________________________________

You know what, I'm even expecting a better year in 2009.. I got my priorities right and dead centre.. I will work hard like never before.. I've never had a New Year's Resolution but decided to do 1 as I believe targets enable us to achieve greater things:

1) Firstly, work hard and never give up

2) Aim to pass my Motor 2B test as soon as possible and finally achieve my childhood dream of being a rider

3) Continue with the renewed habit of working out (Sacrifices just makes it more worthwhile, plus the fact of bet with Ang is for 2010)

4) Be a Yes Man and not a No Man! Don't let my life stagnate and to fill it with as many productive things as much as possible

5) Not to be so self-sacrificing, or to let myself get hurt again by being in too deep, too fast

6) Work even harder than No.1 to give those around me especially my loved ones a better life than they could ever hope for, and eventually strive to achieve dream No.1 in giving children a better chance in life

That's all Folks and sorry for the wordy entry.. Take Care, Adios! But this post has a change with a different ending..

HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM ME AND THE FAMILY!

2008-12-30T22:22:00.004+08:00

Hola!! Had a good and fun day the past 2 days..

Firstly, was the looking through passports again, this time going in from a different angle.. Quite interesting.. And for example, did you know that the our new Singapore Passport has more than 40 security features!! Mind boggling really.. No wonder it cost a bomb in the black market.. Anyway, if there is a suggestion that I could really put up is that they combine both lessons and bring back the house visits to all the other places.. Oh well! Another 1.5 days left!! Kinda really not looking forward to the end of the course.. =(

And on the other hand, we were arrowed to do a Christmas performance for today.. After not really thinking about it, we decided to do a skit about a Santa Idol as the current Santa is out for business.. The thing is that after deciding to do that we didn't really thought about it except since last friday.. And today was the overall performance.. We had a Santa-rina, Bollywood Actor, Son of the God of Fortune, Chief Elf and Ex Terrorist..

Not your typically run-of-the-mill Santa aye.. That what makes it, theoretically, so interesting, sharing what Christmas means to them and the stories behind Christmas.. Of course, like all Idol shows, there are 3 judges.. 1 of them is me!!! =P Haha and the questions and comments are like the shows, are scripted to.. Overall, it worked out fine and the people I think enjoyed it too.. Especially the kids!! And that makes my day any time.. So hats off to the 5 contestants - E-pul, Dillah, Mus, Siva and Neo; the 2 other judges - Wan and Nas; the 2 audio people - Bryan and Azhar and not forgetting the 2 props ladies - Aidah and Rhaudah..

Here are the pics of 4 of the contestants.. Judging on that we only had 3 days of preparation and our own money for budget, which means very low, I daresay it looks good.. =) Still waiting for most of the other photos from the other camera-men..

Siva, the Bollywood Actor

Mus, the Ex-Terrorist

Neo, the Son of God of Fortune

E-pul, Chief Elf

And here are some of the kids that performed.. I took this photo mainly cost the rightmost girl is so darn cute!!! 2 bad mine is a camera handphone thus couldnt really catch her.. =(

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1FAK5Ju2dp4&feature=channel_page

A short clip of their gospel performance.. Ignore our voices and hear the kids singing and the music.. Wonderful job by children!! =)

Okay got to go, as I have an important practical test.. Which I've yet to even touch a single part!! OMG!!!!!! And I'm really panicking now.. Hehehhe.. Take Care, wish me luck and Adios!

2008-12-29T01:03:00.003+08:00

Hola! 135th post yaaawww.. Bzzzttt... Okay I'm just tired at this point.. Lols

27/12/08

Ask my mum out to shop at the new Sembawang Shopping Centre (SSC).. Not really sure of the the old owners but I know now its with Capitaland.. And I just love CapitalMall.. Woo!! The new SSC is superb!! Sure not really finished with all the renovations for all the shops but most of the big retailers like Daiso and Giant is there.. Waiting for Starbucks and it will be my new timealone hangout.. =)) Truly impressed with the place except 3 grrs...

1st: Loved the Singapore Satay Club at the old SSC
2nd: No arcade/cinema for entertainment
3rd: A water theme park at the 3rd level.. Yeah there will be a cool water theme park in Feb at the 3rd level, and I WILL BE TOO OLD BY THEN!!! Grrrrzzzzzzz!!! Damm!! Heeeee.. =)

Also went to chill with the NS buddies, Boy Perancis.. Bar 1-2 people, there was Me, Striker, Ah Pai, Yat Kor, Han, Diy, Mat Rep and Din-ger.. Haha met with the most of them first at Bugis Street for Sheesha.. Not really a fan of Sheesha but I must say the Turkish Tea is superb!! Damm delicious, albeit slightly 2 sweet but that can be changed.. =)

Once all has gathered, we decided to go for a late night supper but won't say where incase someone angry.. I ordered Nasi Goreng Ayam, but only there weren't any chickies so was dissapointed with the dish considering its $4.50!! Not sure what time we departed but I guess around 3+.. The cool thing was there was 5 cars, so it was like an envoy.. Subaru, Civic, Axio, Matrix and Corolla.. When will my scrambler join them.. Hmmm.... Hahaha

28/12/08

Watched Twilight today.. Errmm on the Internet thou of coz.. (2 more weeks to pay day!! Woohoo!!! =) Okay, I must say I was expecting a terrible movie, but was suprised instead.. Not that excellent but I must say not that bad either.. 3/5 stars?? Hmm but if there was a sequel I'll think I will watch it.. Just to see what happens next.. Haha

The real reason why I watched is thou to see the big hoo haa about the main lead, Robert Pattison.. Haha and I'll know that I'll be flamed by someone (heeee =P), but I still don't see the big fuss la!! Except the chivalry potrayed in the guy, I don't understand why girls are going obsesed with him.. Hmmphh!!!! Lols..

And just got back from supper with Yat.. Suprisingly met him for the past 3 nights.. Lols!! Kkz, gonna sleep now!! Take Care and Adios!!

2008-12-26T23:38:00.003+08:00

Hola! Firstly Belated Merry Xmas to all and everyone on board the Singapore Express!!!

Not gonna blog much cos don't really have the mood to blog right now still.. She msged me yesterday night, asking whether she can be a lil' miss santa for me.. I don't know why but the heart still lingers on.. I wanna move on but I can't.. =(

Okay, I admit it.. I'm lonely.. Unbearably lonely..

Well, at least I didn't slip on the potential banana skin.. Could have another big mess on my hand but on the bus way home managed to find out more interesting facts.. Hah!

So from here, Take Care and Adios!

2008-12-24T23:11:00.002+08:00

Holla!!

Strangely freaking tired today.. Slept at 2am yesterday and when I reached home was almost zombie-like.. Slept at 6pm just now but was waken up by Ang!! Grrrzz... Hope I can sleep again later after kopi session..

Anyway, today lesson was boring! Well most of my lesson was boring anyway huh.. Hehehe.. Today was on Body Search Techniques.. Could have finished class at 12+ but some of the classmates were asking the lecturers about work thus ended at 1..

Had a post-class discussion for our christmas performance but was really disheartened to see most of the classmates leaving.. I, myself, can't really be bothered and not really motivated to do it but I still stayed.. 90% of the class left thou! Where's the class spirit and teamwork people?? You guys suck big time! I'm okay with some having urgent stuffs to do, but most of them? I don't think so.. Oh well! Like I told Dillah, as long as our hearts know that we did the proper thing, to hell with the others..

Okay not really to the hell.. Hehehe.. More like in malay : "Asalkan tau hati kita suci, biarkan lah dorang nak buat apa.. "And looks like I'm 1 of the confirmed judges.. Hmmmm!! Ah lazy seh.. =P

More pictures will be posted tomorrow aite.. Kinda lazy to post 'em at the moment.. Hehe.. Take care and Adios!

2008-12-24T00:11:00.003+08:00

Holla! Sorry for the lack of update and If you guys already know me.. Yup its no more Internet again.. Grrrz!! Haha but finally.. And lets pray that that was the final time!! =)

Firstly, Arghz!! When will my pay come.. 19 more long days of thriftyness.. Haiz.. But on the other hand, I'm deeply touched those that came to my rescue in this time of desperate.. Shout outs to : my family, My 3 Poly Buddies : Alvin, Su Anne and Joleen, Farhan, Khai and Ang.. In total, I've loaned about $800 from the past 3 months! Thats really alot and knowing these are tough times I really appreciate it alot.. And I will repay you more that enough and that's a promise from me back..

Anyway, $800 sounds alot but taking out $200 for my Mum. $150 for handphone bills and $60 for eherm MISC gifts, thats about $400 that I used for 3 months.. =) Anyway another 3 more weeks and I'm home free.. Wee.. =)

Next is the sad news.. 2 more weeks to my end of training, that is the final date of 2nd Jan.. =( Sure training is boring at times but from experience, trainee life is the best.. Will miss the deep bonds that I have created in such a short period of time and will treasure it to the most that I can.. =) Shout-outs especially to Wan, Man, E-pul and Dillah..

A great news though is that I got my dream post of Woodlands Checkpoint!! Yay!! Closest to my home and opportunities for OT! What's not to like.. For me that is judging by the sad faces from the rest of class.. 6 to go Tuas, 2 to go Coastal and the rest to Woodlands..

Oh and another great news was the pistol range that I went for 4 days 2 and a half week back.. I shot a total of 471/540 points, with a total of 95/100 for the test.. Marksman babey! After a horrendous air-pistol shooting during my time, glad that I got such a high score.. Not mentioning that I got a consisted 95/100 for the last 3 shoots.. =)) Woohoo!!

Lastly, went to watch Yes Man on Sunday with Dillah and Epul.. Despite the bad critics in the news, seriously a great movie for me! A 6 out 5 stars movie that will gurrantee a non-stop luffter.. =) Anyway, the main this about this movie is at the starting where Carl, aka Jim Carrey, is suffering a sordid life where he stays at a dreary job and is lonely but does not wants company.. I really fear that would be me the way I'm looking at myself.. =(

Trying to follow the movie tagline of Yes is the new No for now and hope life gets betta for me.. Take Care and Adios!

Oh ya, a cool line from the movie..

Police Officer 1: We know another dangerous Carl, don't we Officer 2. What was his name again? Carl ..

Police Officer 2: Marx.. (as in Karl Marx whahahhahahah)

_____________________________________________________

I know its for me to move on but I'm now so scared to move forward again.. No matter in life, love or work.. Sighz.. Please someone help me, as now I'm living life day by day now.. I wished that I can pick the correct path in life and for a remote control to take back my wrong steps.. Feel more and more desperate now with thoughts of doing something I've stopped.. It will feel so good I know..

2008-12-23T23:42:00.004+08:00

Holla! Here are some pics that was taken the last few weeks.. =)

2008-12-09T22:30:00.003+08:00

Hola!! This is my 130th post!! 1 of my favourite number is in there!! Guess which.. Hahah.. But wow never thought that this blog would last so long.. Seeing at my old post, I've changed.. And for the betta.. =) And that my friends is for another story.. Rushing to post this up before going for a kopi session with an angry chee-na guy.. Lols..

Anyway, won't be colouring today's work post in colour as its really short.. Was supposed to learn about the system for arrival to Singapore.. At Woodlands Checkpoint somemore.. Starting was already late as was waiting for another guy.. In the end, the whole class was waiting for 4 of us.. Oopps.. Heheh.. Oh and anyway, the key word was SUPPOSED to.. Cos seriously I don't understand a single thing of what's he saying and only learned how to use it for PR and Singapore passports and not the other parts.. Hehehehhe..

Well!! A good thing was that he released us at 3p.m!! Wooooo... Haha 3 hours free.. *Cue in Freedom song

Anyway after reaching the mrt station I realised that I really din have anything to do today so suggested that 3 of us, Dilah, Afie and Me for a chitchat session.. More of a gossip session really!! Hahahahaha... Yeah I do enjoy my share of gossips..

Was asked a strange question.. But understand where's that coming from.. =) So to Dilah for us to know la horz.. And and and!! She said that the girls think I'm 1 of the cute guys in class!! Imagine that.. I must been doing something right for the past few days to hear that so many times.. =))

Hahahaha I'm really gracious and honoured to hear that.. Hahah lets hope it stays that way eh.. Now must not let myself get over the head.. But weeeee... Heehehehehhe

And just to show the difference, I'm posting a secret photo I recently discovered of I think when I was in Sec 1 or 2.. =P Keet it quiet only la ya.. Take Care and Adios!

2008-12-08T15:09:00.006+08:00

Hola!! Just changed my blog skin.. Was already unhappy with it but it became worse when the whole thing coudn't open yesterday night.. Grrrz..

Ta Da!! I love this new skin.. Sure the space for blogging is abit small thus the fonts are too, but its a unique 1 it think.. And if anything, I'm unique!! Lols! Lame eh..

So anyway,

06/12/20008

Met up with Alvin and Steve for a short while.. Wanted to play bowling at Civil Service Club but it was full.. Went to Grassroots Club but the bowling has closed.. Turn destination to Marina South but instead went to East Coast Park.. After a meal at MacDonalds, off we depart to the main target of bowling.. Haha so in the end it took us about 2 hours after meeting up before we finally reached a bowling alley!! =(

But it was worth it ya.. This coming from a noob bowler who averages 80, and never above 90.. Once in a blue moon maybe but not like on Saturday where I hit 94 in the first game being a close 3rd to Alvin, 134 in the 2nd game to become 1st, and 115 in the last game where I was a close 2nd to Steve.. Haha woah.. Either that was my lucky day or my arms maybe just got stronger.. Lols.. But all in all, a good day.. =)

Oh! Oh! And going home made me even happy.. I just saw something that amazes the eyes in my head!!

Yup! Its Audi R8!! My dream car.. Iron Man's car.. Weee...

07/12/20008

Another class mate of mine big day! Congrats to Kenneth and Hui Ting and may you guys have a long and happy wedding.!!

Firstly I would like to say that their wedding was at Marriot!! Not only was this my first Chinese wedding, but it was also my first time at Marriot or even such a big hotel..

Did I say it was at Marriot?? Yeah that Marriot!! Wah!!!! LOls......... Hehehehhee happy man but was trying not to be Jakun/ Sua ku... =) Anyway it was a really cool wedding and I especially like the first part where the groom got the swords honour as he was a NS officer.. Cool sia!! I think I want to be an officer now please.. Hehehehhehe..

There was 9 of us in my table, and all from my class of course.. Steve, Alvin, Roy, Victor, Guang, Me, Joleen, Su Anne, Li Ru and Shuyi.. Kathy and her bf was at another table.. Yeah you read it right, I was the only Malay.. Wait, I think I was the only Malay in the whole room.. Lols.. But felt honoured ya.. =) Enjoyed myself but main importance was that everything went smoothly without any hiccups for ther 2 love birds ya..

The 2 brides at the centre.. =)

Top From L-R: Su Anne, Joleen, Me, Victor, Alvin and Roy
Bottom From L-R: Guang, Steve, Liru and Shuyi

Some of the boys.. I uploaded this pic cos it looks like I was an extra sneaking into a stranger's photo

Anyway, congrats to the newly-weds once again!

So from here, Take Care and Adios!

2008-12-06T02:32:00.002+08:00

Hola!

Just an addition.. Haha so anyway recently I heard 2 people recommending me to try out for SIA airsteward!!! And 1 of them is an air-stewardess herself.. Lols so happy, and thanks for that praise! =) Haha but me as airsteward? Cannot make it 1 la.. Hehehehe but yay!! Despite no longer being asked for I/C when buying for ciggies [=(], recommending me for air steward is wow!! =)

Hahaha and this is just to annoy someone.. Hahaha..

2008-12-06T01:48:00.002+08:00

Hola!!

Today was on the last WITs training.. I totally agree with the suggestion of WITs as Waste of Important Time.. Slammed the course in the survey.. Furthermore started on a bad start when I took the wrong train to Yishun instead of Admiralty.. Grrrzz! Same group as the previous WITs lecture when class joker decided to give each of us nicknames.. Haha only mine was a lame-ass and gay 1 : Khai Cute.. WTH!!! LOLS!!!! Waste of time but again had fun.. Haha dreading the day when training ends.. Hehehehe

Despite being so tired decided to meet up with Zaid to go watch Chaz performance at Esplanade-Theatre on the Bay.. Haha despite knowing him for 10 years since Sec. School, this was my first time seing him life on stage.. And despite being a short 3 songs thing, it was damm good! Even forgot to take vidz as I was hooked into his performance.. Definetely a plug out to their concert thingie at Arts House Museum on Dec 13.. Tix at $4! You guys won't regret it..

And despite being more tired, rushed down to meet up with Vin and Steve for a short catch-up session.. Sorry for being late you guys! =P

Will be going for a solo run soon and maybe a swimming session with Vin for a double work-out.. Gotta work hard to re-achieve my ideal weight of 65kg!! Wish me luck!! Hehe aimming for a March success yeah!

Take Care and Adios!

2008-12-04T20:06:00.003+08:00

Hola!! Sorry for the lack of updates but been really tired these past few days!!!

My back was seriously aching since Monday.. Getting better though and should be able to resume my cardio workout on Sat I hope.. Unarmed Combat Training.. Sounds cool but to me it just doesn't kick it as much as Army Basic/Advance Close Combat Training.. Main reason is of course that the law is strict on Police Brutality nowdays..

A cool fact is that now I've learned the Police AND the Army combat training.. SCDF next?? Lols!! I think it would be cool if I get to learn all 3 styles.. Police way is mainly with pushing away before taking out baton, while Army is to take down and immobilise the person.. I wonder what's SCDF style though??

Anyway despite not being as effective (mine sole opinion of course!), its more, MUCH more tiring and aching.. Was popping painkillers here and there especially on Tueday.. Downed 7 : 1 during breakfast, 2 before lunch, 2 at the end of the day and another 2 at home.. Haiz! But despite all, I'm proud of the fact that I could feel the pain and yet last through the end without any complaining..

Okay!! Maybe NOT much complaining.. =P All in all, it was a fun 4 days of training!! A slight distaste is the slight ease in passing.. Who wouldn't want to pass after days of training, but it would feel much prouder if the grading was as tough as the training.. =) Still, I'm glad I passed it yeah!! =)))

Now 1 more day and its off to a long weekend.. Thinking of taking Mc tomorrow for an even longer weekend.. Lols.. But Nah! Being the Good(!!) boy that I am, won't do it la... Heheh..

Till then, Take Care and Adios!!

In order: Rizuan aka Wan, Saiful aka Epul, Azman aka Man, Khai aka me (duh!) and Adillah aka Dillah.. Good classmates and friends of mine!! =)

2008-12-01T20:16:00.004+08:00

Hola!!

Din go for my routine run today cos too damm shagged.. My right leg and knee wobbly, my left thumb in agony and my pain high from all the painkillers.. Lols

Today was a quite tiring day for me.. Haha been awhile since such a different excersise.. Today was the Unarmed Combat Training and I'm so dreading the next 3 days.. Especially on Thursday cos its the test date.. Urghz.. Hahahaha.. The warm-up was already a killer for me as we had to do something like a yoga bridge.. So yeah its painful for my back.. Damm! Before lunch was the Baton attacks and I had some difficulty just making the baton extend.. Lols!

Well that is before lunch.. After lunch was strangely easy for me to extend it.. Hmmm "never eat rice arhz!!".. Hehehe.. Anyway after lunch was the Flexi-cuffs turn and that was so uninteresting for me cos there's just too many lines to remember..

Turn Around Sir!
Walk 2 steps towards the wall!
Legs shoulder apart!
Wider!
Legs pointing out!
Head rest on the wall!
Arms shoulder level!
Palms face outwards!
Right hand extend towards me, Sir!
Higher!
Cuffs
Left hand extend towardss me, Sir!
Higer!
Cuffs

And thats just the short phrases mind you.. Lols! Plus I had to partner with someone who share my namesake and I'm starting to really anti him.. Firstly I just can't stand his fake laugh and his tendency to laugh at people he think is not just as good as he is.. Also he's getting jealous cos He's getting no leeway in getting to know a girl which I'm close to.. Even talking behind us, which is not all untrue.. But there's just no romantic linking or such.. At least I'm not the 1 who msgs her night and day.. Oh did I mention that he's the one whose bf of a classmate wanted to beat him up?? LOls totally such a loser!

Getting a little bitchy aren't I? Whahahahah!!! May not be able to blog in the coming future cos not sure my sis extend the internet till when.. So from here, Take Care and Adios!

__________________________________________________________

She messaged me today in the noon.. A response to my action a week ago.. As much as I wanted to do so much, MUCH more, I only replied with a "Welcum".. Haiz.. Is that the right thing that I did? I guess I will never know.. =( A heavy heart right now.. I wished she din msg me at all..

2008-11-30T19:31:00.003+08:00

Hola!

I'm seriously sooo tired.. Reached home at 3+ a.m yesterday and slept at 5.. Woke up at 11 so I will be tired and sleep early tonight.. Man, if this was perharps 2-3 years before I will feel nothing.. The extra 20mins of high cardio didn't help either.. Hahaha.. Changed my blogskin too but don't really like it but too tired to change really.. Maybe some other time aite!!

Went to dinner at Bugis with Ah Pai and his Indonesian Nurses followed by a long walk to Merlion for photos.. Supper at KTM with Khai and Faizal, Mustapha late night shopping and home.. Here are the photos for yesterday:

Lols sorry for the lack of story but really too brain dead now.. =P Take Care and Adios!

2008-11-28T20:56:00.003+08:00

Hola! Sorry for not updating yesterday but there wasn't any internet.. Not much happened anyway with boring lectures that nobody listened to..

As for today? Interesting, and infuriating to say the least!! Start of the day received a shock when the bf of a classmate thought I was disturbing her.. Hah!! Oh please! Lols.. A case of mistaken identity but I found it so funny.. Plus the Mat(bf) even apologised to me in the sms.. Haha weird Mat I would say!! Followed by that I was late, not really late as I reached at 9.. But I was the I/C and supposed to reach early I think.. Lols again don't care la!

Today again was whole day of lecture.. But this was slightly more interesting as there was more pictures, intereting topics and even more interesting lecturerers.. On the other note, Dilah sat beside me so Bam! Bam! Bam! came out all my questions.. Whahahaha its only been a week but there is already so many news!! Lols better not put it here but I found it so interesting.. Lost respect for a guy really, actually more than respect but to me people should be wise enough and I'm tired of being surrounded by older guys who are really less of a man than I am..

Anyway there was so much juicy news that I really wasn't tired the whole day! Haha that and both of us were coughing for our lives.. So thanks girl!!, Especially for trusting me that much even though knowing me for just 5 days.. Haha I wonder if I even would dare to tell that to myself.. But dun ya worry, the secret's dead with me aite..

Anyway.. Going home.. That's the problem.. Being the I/C I was supposed to lock everything and close the light but as the electrician was supposed to do something I'm not to lock the door.. Coincidentally, as I was about to leave the room the electrician came in.. With the abang there, you can't expect me to off the lights when he's there rite? So to my shock, when I went to the office was scolded for leaving the lights on!! Wth????!?!?

Ok I can accept that but as per norm as I was walking to the bus-stop, me, Sa'ad and Adie smoked though Sa'ad wasn't wearing any jacket to cover the logo.. Unluckily the same instructor came and saw that he wasn't wearing any jacket.. So he started scolding us but at the same whole time was looking at me.. I was wearing a whole jacket and zipped up, mind you! I don't even know what his freaking problem is!

I so bet that I will be singled out, maybe alone, come Monday.. I will fight it if really it came to that as both isn't my fault.. Plus with my urticaria appearing again, I really am dreading Monday due to the unarmed combat training! Damm!!

So in conclusion, thanks to the Mat for making me laugh in the morning, thanks to Dilah for making my day fun, and thanks to the Short Fart instructor for ruining it at the end.. Haha and with that Take Care and Adios!

2008-11-26T20:44:00.003+08:00

Hola!

Hmm today's training was again boring like crazy.. It was a WITS lecture or rather on diagrams and charts, etc to do it.. I freaking just ORD 2 years ago only I have to learn this again.. Damm! But it was a lucky thing my group was funny-ass, and plainly funny.. My group consist of the only girl in class I am familiar with Dilah, Mr funny-man Epul, the girl with a unique name of just Asmah, silent Mus and artist Din.. Haha an unlikely group but it was freaking fun la.. Learned a new joke that made me laugh like an ass with tears in my eye when they did it to the lecturer..

Poor thing the lecturer really.. The whole class was barely listening to him!! Its time to retire man.. On other news, had 2 bad news at the end of the day.. Firsly pistol range will be at freaking Paya Lebar.. Far la!! And also next week is the Unarmed Combat Training which told by Mr Policeman, Afie, is tough as nails.. And further more the few Sergeants will have to learn additional things with the baton and hand-cuffs..

*FAINT*

Thanks to Mr Ang, who has finally return, I have now something to do at home!! Yay!! FM 09 here I come..

Ok wait.. After a long game of FM 08 which I've played all the way from 2007-2008 to the latest check of 2019-2020.. Thats a long 12 seasons.. The longest I've ever played in the series and my best game ever! Here are the pics..

The only problem was in the 3rd pic when all my player's history showed that they was from Algeria and I bought them for free.. Its freaking irritating as I like to play loyal players till they retire rather than let them go unpaid.. And I can't review their playing history at all.. Damm it!! And in the 2nd picture, my last act in the game was to retire the manager.. And a cool 9 coaches quit straight-away.. Such loyalty to the manager.. Cool or wat!!

Haha for those who don't play the game, sorry if I wasted your time.. And here's the phrase you been waiting all this time.. Cos it means I will shut up now..

Take care and Adios!

2008-11-25T21:18:00.004+08:00

Hola! Another boring day at work..

First half of the day before lunch was a lecture on the various visit passes, VISAs and stamps.. After lunch was another lecture, this time on Customer Service.. 1 short sentence to describe: Damm freaking boring! I even slept for about 10 minutes during the Customer Service lecture.. And this coming from a Marketing student which is born and bred Customer Service.. I can't believe yesterday's lecture on Law was much, much more interesting then today..

Okay not that MUCH, but at least I was 100% attentive yesterday.. Hehe..

But despite all my whining, I'm seriously glad to be working.. Sure a start to the steps to getting some money finally and the benefits ARE good.. But its rather a way for me to keep myself occupied during the past 2 days of thinking.. Made a wise decision for myself and glad for the work that will keep me on this path..

Now... Just another 11 more weeks to go before I can finally go out in peace.. Or rather with money.. Hehehehehe... =P I need that money fast!!!

Some picture before I go.. A few pictures of Sunday's JB trip..

Take Care and Adios!

2008-11-24T21:35:00.002+08:00

Hola!! Woah first day at work..

Had to wake up at 640 just now!! Despite being so tired, I still couldn't sleep the night before till 1 a.m. la.. Grrr... Haha and after weeks and weeks of almost waking up everyday at 1130, was super tired.. It a lucky thing I was wearing contact lenses otherwise my eyes would have closed already I think.. ahaha..

Anyway, hmm morning was admin stuffs, followed by a talk on donation( I'm already donating so I don't understand why I couldn't take a break then!!! ;@). After that was a talk by Woodlands Commander and a talk by the HR personnel.. Oh and uniform fitting.. The cutting is so damm weird.. Some attires I had to take sizes smaller then usual and others bigger then usual.. WTH!??

And I'm am so not gonna tell you what size I took.. Lols!! =)

Lunch was spent mainly on buying a drink and leaving the premises, cross the street, walk somemore just to smoke.. Lols.. Haha lucky thing I'm not the sole smoker otherwise I maybe would have just hidden somewhere and smoke illegally.. Ssshhh.. LOls.. After "lunch" had an interesting but tiring talk regarding the Immgiration and Custom Act - Law stuffs.. Followed by another talk which I totally catch no balls before home!! Yay..

Interesting fact No.1: I took the wrong job!! Should have worked under the Ministry of Finance and worked as Custom Officer to catch those who are smoking Malaysian Ciggarettes!!! Damm! Can I change job?? Lols j/k.. Heheheh

Interesting fact No.2: I'm the Specialist batch I/C this friday.. Arghz.. Grr I hate being I/C with no power.. Lols.. But yeah will be dreading that day futhermore its a lecture at which I don't even know where the place is? Oh no!!

Interesting fact No.3: Final decision by Khai made.. Be strong!! =( Butyeah its a Whatever case now really.. So I don't give a damm anymore..

Interesting fact No.4: I'm tired but I'm not sleepy yet.. What is wrong with me man.. Lols.. Ok haha and the worst thing is I'm yet to bathe.. Hahah.. Kkz going to do dat now.. I think I can smell myself all the way from CCK.. Lols.. Kkz Take Care and Adios! =)

2008-11-23T22:17:00.001+08:00

Oh and the promised poem.. =)

It took but a glance,
And only lasted a second.

Yet I still cannot erase your soothing smile from my mind,
Your beauty cannot be adequately described,
Just appreciated in a way that trandescends time.

Rarely am I caught at a loss for words,
However I find myself stumbling when I'm around you.
Always scoffing of words that aren't true,
So now I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do.

I wish that time could be frozen,
So that you'll always be beside me.
I realize how difficult it must be,
for you to understand how I feel.

I struggle to fight off your charm,
You exert it with such ease.
When you're around me I find myself at peace,
Though it seems just a tease.

Let me shoot amongst the stars,
And float alongside the moon.
Now that it's your heart I've found,
My feet never remain on the ground.

2008-11-23T21:51:00.005+08:00

Hola!! I'm back from another lapse of internet.. Grrr..

Just a short update really cos tml is my first day at work and I'm freaking shagged right now.. Firstly, OMG tml is my first day at work.. Whahaha can't believe I can finally say that.. Woohoo... But feeling abit nervous and such.. Hehehe.. But woo WORK!!! =)

Well today has been a most fulfilling week since my last job at Easpoint Mall.. Went out literally the whole week despite the shortage of funds.. But still spent slightly less than $50.. Still ouch! but yeah I'm happy that I managed to spent the last week unemployed with the much loved.

Hmm let me recount what I did the whole week.. The major events that I can remember mostly..

Monday: Signing of the letter of agreement and did the medical check-up.. Already made some friends (2 around age, 3 fathers and a pretty lady) so at least I won't be too alone there.. Oh ya! The doc said I have high blood pressure.. Damm! Must train harder to account for the ciggies.. =P Went to my auntie house with family too tll quite late.. =) I just love their close-knit family!

Tuedsay: The only 1 out of 2 dates that was spent at home resting I think!

Wednesday: Supper with no one but Striker himself again.. At Medina..

Thursday: Had a great lunch.. =) Haiz I wished there is more than lunch.. No more lunch meet-ups in the near future anymore too.. Arghz! Had another great supper catch-up this time with Alvin at Medina AGAIN.. Hehe I just love the teh tarik..

Friday: The other date that was spent fully recuperating especially with the predicted 2 tiring days to come. Also went to Library to return all the books that I've loaned. Gosh, can count the number of books that I read during the 17 weeks of boredom.. =P

Saturday: Rosdiana wedding at Woodlands CC.. It was mighty grand I tell ya! Can't imagine how Hui Ting's wedding at Marriot will be!! Catchup for a while with some poly mates.. Been ages since I last seen them.. Supper and walk-about at JB with Striker and his friend Faizal a.k.a Yishun Boy.. Reached home 430 a.m and slept at 5 a.m.

Sunday: Woke up at 930 a.m. Woah tired! Went JB again this time but for the first time with much loved Grp Prj of buddies of Su Anne, Joleen and Alvin.. Took wrong bus to Larkin before cab down to City Square.. LOLs!! Reached home around 9 p.m I think.. Mighty tired..

That's the bulk of things I can remember now.. And now my eyes can barely keep open.. Hehe.. Going to sleep now!! Ciaos.. Will update longer tml aites! Especially with my work tml.. Wish me luck! Hehe Take care and Adios!

2008-11-09T23:46:00.002+08:00

Hah! Hah! Hah! 7 Freaking times!!! Grrrrrr... Haiz!!... Good job.. Blarding freaking good job.. Hah to the 7th freaking damm time..

___________________________________________________________

Libra (Sep 23 - Oct 22)[?]

The Bottom Line

Today will have its fair share of drama going on, and you'll be a featured player.

In Detail

Today will have its fair share of drama going on, and you are probably going to be a featured player -- luckily, it's likely that you will be the hero in the story, not the suffering and helpless victim! Someone will trust you with a very valuable secret, and while keeping it might not be easy, it will be a blast knowing that you know something no one else knows! Tonight, you'll find a neutral person -- share your secret in this one-on-one conversation only if you know it's safe!

Bah! Fuck this..

2008-11-08T21:08:00.002+08:00

Hola! Firstly, dunnoe if you guys can click on the photos above but I just cracked up when I saw this.. Funny ass...

Anyway first the good news... I got a job!! Woohoo!!! Finally Khai got a job.. Yay!! Okay I haven't really got a job.. I have to go down to Maxwell Road Tower on the 17th to sign the contract, and I will start work on the 24th.. (More on that later... ) Anyway, I will be working as an ICA Specialist.. Hush hush alright.. Just tell people I working at Woodlands as Factory.. Lols.. Anyway, if you don't know, ICA specialists is more famous at Woodlands Checkpoint for the passports.. But depending where I will be sent to after the training, who knows I may go to Tuas, Changi Airport, etc.. Or even to the HQ at Lavender..

Wasn't really my first choice job before I left army but then the lure of the pay was too good.. The plan now with this job is that I will work for maybe about 1+ years before taking a part-time Marketing degree before departing to my original line.. We shall see how it goes aite.. =)

Haha now the bad news.. I said before that I will start work on the 24th.. DamM!! Thats my motor theory test date.. Grrrz.. Haf to forgo the money for that.. Will e-mail SSDC asking whether they could change the date for me.. Hope it suceeds..

Okay I discovered this really cool website for directions.. www.gothere.sg Its something like the old Singapore Directories website but this is so much intuitive.. A 5 stars website for those who are geographically inept like me.. There's even a driving route.. In this picture above is the direction for me to go to sign the ICA contract..Remember this website : www.gothere.sg

So from here, Take care and Adios!!

2008-11-04T20:34:00.002+08:00

Holla! Okay so far today is a whole mess.. My mind is in a current whirlwind right now..

My Dad's younger brother got into an accident and is now in National University Hospital (NUH) ICU ward.. He apparently got into a bad accident.. Well the thing is you see, I've never forgave my Dad's family for not saying anything and instead keeping quiet when my Dad got a 2nd wife.. Hell, I even hated my Grandmother for showing preference to the 2nd wife when he brought the 2nd wife and me and my family too see her.. And I won't ever forgive him for leaving us..

Okay, let's just put the Hating aside but the last time I saw my Dad was in Poly year 2.. Almost 5 freaking years ago, and another almost 2 years before that!! He practically left us to survive on our own when at that time me and my 2nd sis were still schooling while my eldest sis was just starting to work.. Which kind of HUMAN can leave other behind like that, when that others are even your flesh and freaking blood? I have no doubt in my life that if I had a DAD in my life, I would not have been all through this pain in life.. I never had a figure father to guide me through manhood.. I blame him - My-so-called-father, the bitch that stole him from my mother and his family..

I apologise for the crass of the previous paragraph but I just felt terrible as I was on the way alone to visit my Dad's younger brother.. I had no idea what I am going to do nor say when I get there.. I just knew I had to be there to provide support in his family tough time.. I thought I was prepared to forgive and forget, be it that they weren't really at fault.. I reached there at 4 as I did not knew that ICU's visiting hour started at 5.. Thus I sit there and waited. And waited. And waited.

5 p.m came and left.. I took a peak in the ICU before quickly leaving.. Without a word of Hi nor showing my face.. Ignore that I only saw a whole lot of strangers and his son, Haziq, who either don't remember me or ignored me.. Anyway, the whole story was that I couldn't do it.. I couldn't forgive and forget that He had stood aside when my Dad left us.. As much as I pitied his family and felt his pain, I couldn't do it..

I well, I nearly cried as I left the hospital shortly after.. I actually felt disgusted with my self on the way home.. I told my mum that I was shy of going in due to so many other visitors so she won't know my feelings.. I'm really sorry for all the lies and the fact that I couldn't do it.. As much as I can't forgive you or forget about it, please get well for me and especially for your family!

I do not want another family to suffer what I have gone through if I can help it.. Do get well! Take care and Adios!

2008-11-02T04:18:00.002+08:00

Hola!

What a weird timing to blog right.. Well actually, I'm just back from a short trip with the gang.. Went to watch soccer at a coffeeshop with Khai followed by Yat joining us to JB.. Supper, Petrol and DVD/Games browsing before heading home..

Anyway, it looks like once again, Khai, you have just spoken too soon.. 2 months of fretting and in a single sentence I'm dead.. Sort of getting used to this.. Get up and back down.. Get up and back down.. Get up and back down.. Will this ever end..

Well I guess its really fated and I decide I should just be a monk huh.. Despite all that, I am still thankful that someone is happy.. It may not be me, but I really give up on that.. I just have to keep washing away all my sins.. No matter what happens to me, I know that people out there are suffering more then me.. And by my words, I swear till the END of my life I will change that.. I may not be enough but I would rather be alone helping rather then joining others and leaving the rest to their suffering..

And I stiil yet to get a job!! Grrz... Okay, I'm tired!! And sleepy.. Take care and Adios my lovely readers.. =)

2008-10-29T20:23:00.005+08:00

Hola! Just a quick update really.. Anyway 2 of my favourite things are coming soon.. =)

Firstly, Armageddon is coming out again in Chnl 5.. Haha my first truly blockbuster movie that started my crave for movies.. Despite watching it so many times, I'm still totally into the movie.. Have I said that I used to have the cd and already watched it more than 10 times.. I bet I can tell you every single part of the story how it goes.. That is also the first movie that I really teared up at the last part when the father sacrificied himself so his daughter could have her bf/husband-to-be.. Never fail to make me slightly feeling emotionoal that scene, I tell ya.. Also, the show that got me hooked on the song, 'I don't wanna miss a thing' and also the lead actress, Liv Tyler.. =) And anyway, do go watch it ya! I know I will!!

Hmm maybe I should find that CD and catch it 1 more time before it comes out on TV.. Lols!

Secondly.

Wait for it...

MotoGP is coming to Singapore, as soon as possible 2011.. 1 word for me.. WOW!! I really can't wait for this, and for sure, I'm gonna go down and view up live.. A big, big fan of motor if you can guess and I do really hope to catch my hero in 2 wheels, Valentino Rossi.. That's where I get my inspiration for my own nickname.. Khai Rossi.. Hahahahahaha.. Shuddup! Lols.. Oh boy, I can't wait!!

Anyway back to me... Hmm dare I say it? Is my luck really changing for the moment, or is it just the calm before the storm.. I really hope its the former rather than the latter.. Well, I sorta of given up my wish to work in the Marketing/Branding line for at least a year.. Went an interview with ICA actually the other day, but I'm still waiting for the reply slip whether I'm selected.. ICA is really making me interested with their high pay, so I'm really hoping to get selected..

Oh the other hand, the job that I HAD really wanted was SCDF Paramedic.. They had before sent me an email saying that I am rejected but I received a call yesterday to offer me an interview spot next monday... This is really making me interested but then I still doubt that I can pass my IPPT.. Grrrz.. If I had known the future, I would have worked doubly, triply hard instead of just normal running.. But oh well, I think I still will most probably go for the interview and hope for the best..

In other news, I FINALLY did it.. Did what? For me to know, and you again not to find out.. Hehe.. But yeah, finally did something I wanted to do 2 months in the waiting.. My heart was litterally pumping before, during and after.. Sheesh I really am not made up for this kind of things.. Heee.. But now I'm really worrying about what to do next.. Literally a kancheong spider.. But despite everything and all I've been through, not really hoping for the best right now..

But who knows ya, really trying to make this 2 things work out in my life right now, and hope for a better and uplifting update soon ya.. Take Care and Adios!

___________________________________________________________________

Eddited my music playlist to a new one.. This is a self-made list I did a long time ago.. Consist of some of the most beautiful songs of the slightly yester-year..

2008-10-06T04:34:00.012+08:00

Hola! Okay I've been really kinda been wanting to post this, but didn't.. And I'm really here because I have a feeling that my internet will be out again soon.. =P

First and Foremost, if you are reading this Iffa which I doubt you are, I sincerely apologise if you took it the wrong way. Again, it was never intended that way.. I've removed the part, and I'm asking for your forgiveness.. And again not meant to offend or anger you, you have your principles, so do I.

Anyway, I'm really kinda in a rut right now, falling in deeper and deeper into a hole that I've created. First and foremost, I'm still jobless right now and as a fact peniless. Don't ask me why, but I'm unable to get a single interview, much less mention a job.

Thus now, I even have to depend on my mum for some money here and there. This really pisses me off as rather then helping, I'm a liability to my house like a someone at home. I really hate this feeling!! I really do!!

I refuse to accept my destiny or believe that this is what I am AND will be.. I will not! But yet... I do not how to express the anguish I'm feeling and I feel really so helpless.. Please do tell me what to do, a single help will be a gesture that I deeply appreciate..

If a single phrase could suffice it would be this: I deeply FEAR that my life down the road, in the future, will be like this.. Ekking out a living, unable to give the people I LOVE the pleasures in live, unable to SHARE the feelings I do to anyone except me. My life as it is, a horrible stain in the timeline of Humanity. Such dreams that I have, that will never be fulfilled. =(

Unable to think when I'm awake, unable to sleep when I lie down.. If i was i feeling in an imaginary well, I really fear that it is a bottomless one.. I am rather becoming more of what I accept I am. A loser!

Yup that's right, A loser! *Sighz.. So as a matter of fact, starting from now, this will be my last post for quite sometime till I pick up my pieceS of lift back..

I've never believe in God nor Religion because I believe that no one should have to endure the pain I've had.. But if there's really a God, now really is a good time to give me a slight push like you've never done before.. If any muslims are reading this, I sincerely apologise if you are offended as none are intended.. And please do not tag regarding this, I plead you.

Do believe when I say goodbye with a teared heart. This blog have been with me since July 07 till now, coming to a close 14 months. My ups and my downs the past is all here. From the bottom of my heart, thanks for reading guys and all your support! I may not be back tomorrow, next week nor next month, but I will be back! And don't worry I will tag you guys aite when I'm back..

Oh! And another thing! Me and My family would like to say A Selamat Hari Raya to all Muslims and Happy Holidays to all!

Take care and for the last time for the coming times, Adios!

2008-09-30T03:59:00.001+08:00

Hola! Is it just mine or is there some problem with Blogspot? I'm still unable to post any pictures or edit my words and whatnots. Is there anyone else experiencing the same problem? Help!

This is just 1 of my adding irritations today. Seriously had a lousy, black day today. Nothing really bad happened, except 1 thing, but my mood is totally down. Plus I feel like a loser, with failing at the one thing that I really wanted to do this whole month but failed. Even now sitting here typing my anger is just bubbling under the surface.

Imagine a kettle of water boiling and the bubbles of water popping. That's EXACTLY how I feel right now!

I think its just fatigue and my eyes feel heavy but for the past week, each time I lie on my bed, I just twist and turn. Unable to fall asleep until at least 4+ till 6+ AM. What is happening to me??!?!

Take care and Adios!

2008-09-28T22:30:00.000+08:00

Hola! Boo to blogspot! There's a problem with the web and I can't upload any pictures.. =(

Anyway, just watched the end of Singapore F1 race.. A truly exciting race I tell you.. Man I wished that I was there, but its a good thing I wasn't too otherwise wouldn't be able to see the whole thing.. There were quite a few crashes and cock-ups too. Webber was pulled out due to a problem, Barichello and Trulli was pulled out though din catched why, Piquet and Raikonnen both had an accident.

A truly unlucky day for Ferrari with them not picking any points as both drivers had a bad day, and Massa twice too! Raikonnen could at least claim some points but hit the wall with I think 4 laps to go while Massa just was purely "SUAY!". My hearts go out to them as I expected that Massa will breeze through as winner. Which he was first, until Piquet's accident..

Anyway, as I said it was a truly exciting race and MAN, I CAN'T WAIT TILL NEXT YEAR!! =) Oh and FYI, Alonso was 1st, Rosberg 2nd, Hamilton 3rd, Glock 4th and Vettel 5th.. Now can someone just tell me who the hell is Rosberg and Glock??? LOLS!!

And no, you do not need to asnwer that.. =) Hahaha..

Anyway, had a good outing yesterday and a tiring one too.. Went out as "early" as 3pm to deliver cookies to me ex-receptionists at Eastpoint, before going to my Aunties' house at Pasir Ris to deliver and collect other things. Rushed back home to break-fast, albeit late, cos I reached home at 7.20+..

Anyway, rushed to bathed before going out again at 8.30pm for a long-awaited meet-up with buddies Alvin, Joleen and Su Anne, along with Matthew or Su Anne's boyfriend and Roy. We went to Serangoon Garden's Liquid Kitchen for some chilling and catching up.. After which we left at about 12 cos they wanted some supper.. Thus we went to Chomp Chomp just across the street.. Haha and it maybe that I've been to Serangoon Gardens a few time, it was my first time to Chomp Chomp..

Thus, I happily ordered Longan drinks, to which my suprise was 3 BIG, BIG, BIGGGGGGG!!! cups/jugs.. Haha truly shocked me at the size.. Hehehe.. Man, will never be try to be so clever again.. Hahaha.. Anyway, it was a good catching up.. =) Now when shall we meet again? Hope not next year.. Haha..

Anyway, we departed at about 230 of which met up with Yat-Kor and Din-Ger and Khai-Konnen for sahur.. We went to Al-Ameen at I think Chua Chu Kang.. Was really kinda tired by the time I reached home at about 5, but the worst thing I couldn't sleep till 10 freaking am!! Grrrz...

So counting down, 3 days time to Hari Raya!!! WEE!!!! I still yet to get my Sampeng!! Weee!! Not!

Sorry for the wordy posts but not my fault aite!! So takecare and Adios!

2008-09-25T20:51:00.003+08:00

Hola! Hmmm my final preparations are not going well for Raya right now.. Damm! Still missing that last part of job that I need to do.. =(

Oh and here are the pics I promised.. Haha its more of the past 2 years my raya picture.. Wanted to find the older pictures too but i dun have a scanner..

Okay actually, I do but lols been years since I last turned on the machine.. Haha.. So oh well, enjoy these 3 pics.. My hair this year is not the same as the previous years thou.. =)

Year 2007 Hari Raya with long hair, and I think i look so much like a Mat Rep!

Year 2008 Hari Raya

This was my last year Raya Open House cum 21st Birthday party =)

Oh and I've changed my blog music to Raya songs.. Did I mention how hyped up I am for this year.. So unlike the previous years.. I wonder why.. Haha..

A short post, cos I don't really know what to post.. Hehe.. Adios!

2008-09-23T19:59:00.002+08:00

Hola! I'm back.. Man, I do miss blogging and you guys so much.. Just a short post though for now, as I gotta go back to my spring cleaing..

Haha I'm proud of my cleaning the house and my Mum's room and the Kitchen left! That and re-painting the toilet, cleaning the window, final sweep and mopping of the house.. Oka y, still got alot to do.. Buck-up Khai!! =)

And yeah, finally went to cut my hair! Was worried that I won't like it and was hoping of more of a change, but wow I do love my new style.. Its slightly longer at the back and my fringe is no longer across my forehead. Besides that always make more pimple of which to hide it was the real purpose.. Whahahaha... But yeah, will keep you guys guessing for the moment on my new cut..

Woohoo! A whole week left of fasting to go.. Can't wait to be able to smoke anytime of the day.. Oooopss.. Haha but the fact is I'm proud that I'm able to keep this month as clean as I can .. So far efforts are proving me succesful.

Oh, and I'm so excited for Raya this year.. Wonder why though.. Perharps that cos my birthday is coming soon? *Hint Hint!!!* Lols!

Just kidding...

But yeah, I'm really excited for 1st October.. Almost ready for the day, just a Sampeng and Baju Kurung button to get.. I'm hoping to get a slightly glitterry or Bling-Bling button but yeah kinda hard to find.. Hmmm.... Oh, and efforts to keep down my weight for this year is not going so well.. But that's what anyone else wish to huh for the festivities.. Hehehe..

Hmm and the fact that 1st October is almost here also means time is running out for me to do something.. =) Kinda scared to do it but MAN, do I so want it.. 3 days left, no wait!, 4 maybe 5 more days for me to do it.. Really hoping I can do it.. Bring back memories though of my NS RSM (Regimental Sergeant Major) shouting to me, " Man, Where's your B*ll?!!"

Haha.. Damm the old fellow!! Lols!.. So from here out, and hoping for another update( hopefully with pictures =) soon.. Adios!

2008-09-07T22:53:00.003+08:00

Hola!! Had a great day yesterday..

As the norm, the whole clan had a break-fast together at my uncle's house.. Haha with that many uncles and aunties on my mum side, and not counting their children, so you can guess how hectic it was in the house.. Pity the neighbours, but oh well.. Lols.. =)

Finally saw my favourite niece again, Umairah.. She's the girl on my left (the pic above), and I tell you she'll be a gorgeous babe when she grow up.. Haha watching the kids running around THE WHOLE DAY just tire me out, but they look like they were having so much fun.. Don't we ever wonder where they ever got all that much energy and when did it left us?

And most of all the uncles and aunties were asking me what job am I working now.. Kinda felt bad that I'm not really working and providing a stable income that I should.. But I'm trying! Hate that I'm a layabout now..

Watch a serial the other day about this 1 guy who is also looking for a job... He looks like typical mat, but does't act like one.. He is also unable to find a job cos he is looking something that is challenging.. So well, the whole episode was about saying that he's a useless layabout and treated like such..

Damm, I don't wanna be like one.. Infact, Imma thinking of going back to retailing if I'm unable to find a job soon, and well that just saddens me.. =(

On other news, my cookies that are selling are totally sold out and I'm still thinking on how to break the news to some people.. So for those, who asked from me and I couldn't give you, a big sorry and thanks for the support to all.. Take care and Adios! Oh and I love kids!! =) Enjoyz..

It looks like she's being tortured but if ya click the picture, you can see her pearly whites.. =)

2008-09-02T20:28:00.002+08:00

Hola! Who ever knew getting a job is so hard, and being unemployed is tiring..

The fickleness of humans.. You dislike you life when you are working, and yet you will most probably dislike your life too when you are not.. Damm! Well, though life is harder now with me having to sill scrimp and save, I believe that quiting my job at Eastpoint is still the best choice rather than not..

At least, I have come out the better of it yeah! =)

Well nothing really to blog about, except the dreaded time of the year(for me, that is) is here.. The fasting month, or Bulan Puasa.. =(

Wanna know why I dislike and dread this month? Nope, not cos that I will be starving all the time.. People who know me, knows that this is very unlikely for me..

A more likely option? Smoking, maybe? But nope wrong again.. Though I have to continously battle the urges, and failed here and there.. But this year, I have a plan to fight it and keep up my metabolism at the same time so this hasn't been a problem this year...

Well my pet peeve is that I will definetely gain 2-3kg... EVERY YEAR... Yup, people loose wait at this time of the year, while I gain.. Haha and during Hari Raya Puasa itself, where people gain weight, I will most probably loose weight again.. Haha... But the gaining part, still bothers me though..

Grrrz!! Oh well, let's see whether my plan for this year fasting period will work aite.. So from here, take care and Adios!

2008-08-27T22:52:00.003+08:00

Hola! Another tiring day in store for me just now with another day of OT.. Another projected day of OT will be tomorrow..

Oh well, you got to do what you got to do.. Right? Haha

The picture above and the 2 below was taken just now at the Panasonic warehouse at Tuas.. So yup, we really had too much free time.. Or rather the real story was that we were totally sick of the job at that time, and was too tired to do anything else.. Well I was! Hahahaha..

This is pic of A T ANG, or rather more affectionately known just as Atang.. Haha what a nickname.. Anyway, this hardworking guy is the one roped me in for the job so thanks..

What I'm really supposed to do.. Checking the Panasonic Viera tv sets for any scratches.. Easy but yet tiring job like I said.. Anyway 2 more days till the end of the week and job.. Woohoo!! Hope the pay is soon too.. I'm freaking broke!!

Anyway, great news for my interview.. Thought I did only OK for the interview and there was 15 interviewees for the 1 position.. They were gonna only select 2 slots for the 2nd interview or rather evaluation.. So off I went after the interview, and unexpectedly met up with Yat Kovalainen, Ahmad Schumacher, Nob Heidfield and Khai Raikonnen..

Haha okay Yat, Shufi, Farhan and Khai Striker.. And we did not meet all together.. Met with Yat, left Yat to meet Shufi, left Shufi to meet Khai and unexpectedly both Khai saw Farhan.. Haha so a day hanging out with great buddies.. Haha..

And so at the end of the day till just now infact while working, the interview was even in the back of my head.. When "Ring, Ring!", the company called and I was selected for the 2nd interview.. WohoO!!!! The job sounds may not exactly sound like my perfect job, but wow it sounds good.. A job that I can stay for some time infact..

Ah! Whatever.. My phone don't sound the Ring, Ring, but the remix version of "The Way I are", but to make it short aites!.. =P Heeeee!!

Well, what they say is not usually what will happens.. And despite my extreme confidence in the 2nd interview, shouldn't really push up my expectations.. But yeah, the 2nd interview is rather a 4hr evaluation where they teach you and judge whether you can the job.. Being someone, who can catch up on things rather fast, I do have the confidence in this.. =)

Wish me luck and pray for me aite guys!! Take care and Adios!

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Forget to add this, but the friendster horoscope is really usually acurate for me.. But look at this:

The Bottom Line
A current project has been feeling neverending, but there are sign of progress, now.

In Detail
One of your current projects has been feeling never-ending! If you've been waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel to come into view, you might just be able to get a glimpse of it, today -- if you keep calm and remain confident about it. Worrying about how you're going to finish something or when you're going to finish something isn't helping you get it done any faster, is it? Roll up your sleeves and dig in, today -- that's the fastest way to the finish line.

I'll just say Wow!, and really praying for the best right now.. Hahaha

2008-08-25T21:47:00.002+08:00

Hola!! Woah I'm so tired today..

Well you see, I worked for a full 12 hours today.. 8-8.. Haha on top of that, worked the whole day standing, except lunch and dinner of course.. Knees getting wobbly.. Eyes getting cross-eyed.. But for the sake of money, sacrifices must be done of course.. =)

In life, I guess you must always sacrifice 1 for the other.. I've learnt that you can never Have your cake, and Eat it too.. Well perharps, I might not yet experience it so keeping a look-out for that special happiness in life that I can have and eat.. Haha.. Hmmm... We'll see huh in the future..

Anyway, having an interview tomorrow!! Woohoo!! Finally after almost a month of quiting, I finally have 1.. Well 2nd actually, but did not went to the first interview as I was still having the worst of the fevers and headache.. Oh well.. Hope it goes well tomorrow..

Now just let me remember where the interview supposed to be.. Just remembered that it's in Tanjong Pagar.. Haha come to think of it, I don't even remember the company name.. Hehe well it'll come sooner or later..

So from here and before I fall asleep in front of the computer, take care and Adios!

2008-08-23T20:02:00.000+08:00

On Dying Breath

The gift shared if ever by two,
Then it’s all I want to gain in loving you.
One last kiss, I surrender to thee,
If I should beg or simply ask, for you to love me.

My soul opens up to embrace a new day,
As long as it’s you I feel at my side, then I'm okay.
If you do not love, then simply lie,
For it’s your heart alone I can not deny.

If you only ask, then be sure to receive,
Once spoken, you loved me, I will surely believe.
A part of you, the embrace I long to give,
In this lifetime, together with you I shall live.

When dawning hour approaches, as ocean rushes to shore,
On dying breath I whisper, "I love thee" drifting into Heaven's door.

2008-08-23T19:15:00.003+08:00

Hola!! Sorry if its been quite a while since my last update.. 11 days to be exact.. Had a kind of financial difficulty, thus leading to my internet being unavailable..

Well not really unavailable, but you see Starhub has this "mode" of internet where you pay for many days that you want to use.. Otherwise, you can only go the government websites, yahoo and hotmail, and of course the Msn messenger..

No payment = No internet.. Damm those blood suckers!! Grrz.. Haha.. =) And yet I still prefer Starhub as the best.. Life time supporter of Starhub yeah! And Nokia! Marks & Spencer too! Heee...

Anyway, had a horrible time the past 1 and a half week.. I was literally in a low-mood, or dare I say DEPRESSED?.. Yup, that's how bad it was..

I felt terrible, feeling that I have gained nothing since the past year, but more responsibilities and trouble.. Without a job and stable pay, I was sinking further into oblivion, without neither reprieve nor help.. Yes, without help.. You see, I was also both too ashamed to ask for help, and also scared that I will be hurt by family and friends..

Thus I began to push people away.. Families, friends that were just beginning to start, close friends and friends that I call my brothers and sisters.. And I began to felt lonely, but still kept those feeling that were killing me inside, and instead potray a fake and cold smile..

The more time I had, the more I thought.. The more I thought, the worser those feelings got.. It began to choke me night by night.. Even till the point of being unable to sleep.. =(

But yeah, I began to share those feelings to close friends.. Little bits but I felt better.. Began to work out those sweats and toxin, and read books that uplifted me at the end.. Even the Olympics helped me.. Seeing them give their all for their pride, trade, Country, family and friends and themselves.. That lifted me up slowly, but surely..

And the Khai now that is typing this is all but returned! Still with the same problems, but happier and still the same old self-less guy! Haha.. =) That's the basis of the story, not in depth but enough for you guys to understand what I've been through ya.. So from here, and hoping more updates in the future.. Take care and Adios!

Still yet to get any interview for full-time jobs.. =( But I do know that quiting was the best choice as I would have gone further into depression I would say.. And I still dislike doing these odd jobs that I do.. Hee.. But that's life huh.. Suck it up and move on!

2008-08-12T21:21:00.004+08:00

Hola!

Update on my health.. Still feeling flushed and slight headache.. The fever has went down from the highs of 38+ to finally this morning it was 37.9.. Last I checked was 37.8, so I'm giving it 2 more days before I should be completely healed.. Still gonna push aside all exercising tendencies just in case.. Hope I heal soon thou, as this headache is killing me..

I wonder if I can get BRAIN HAEMORRHAGE from high fever?? Hope not!! Heee... But I did had wild thinking that maybe I was infected with dengue.. So phhewwww.....

Haha and this is my 100th post la.. Lols never would haf I guessed that this blog would last that long.. Hmmm thinking about it, this is my 3rd blog and the past 2 had at most 2-3 month's worth of post?? Hahahaha.. Alot of memories this little thing on the magical web holds.. =)

Any takers on me going up to 200? Haha that would be in 2010 I think.. Urghz.. That would means I would be 24.. Ollllldddddd.. Fullstop! =P

Anyway, finally watched Batman: The Dark Knight..

Never really a fan of the winged man, but wow this movie rocks.. Oh and this poster is nice!! "Why so serious?" I would say a very dark movie compared to the Batmans of yesteryears.. Haha much, much better than my primary school memories of the old Batman tv series where each punch or kick would have a "Pow!" or "Kapow!".. Haha those are the memories.. =)

Anyway, Ah Pai keeped on calling me during the show 5-6 times.. And it was at the end of the show! Damm spoil the momentum.. Hmm thinking of watching it again.. Maybe I should get a DVD instead.. This show is defintely a keeper..

Meeting Khai tomorrow morning for a JB trip, so here's from me.. Take care and Adios!

2008-08-10T12:55:00.005+08:00

Hola!! This is my 99th post and I'm running sick.. Oh man! Irritating cos I rarely get sick..

Been having an undulating fever that goes as low as 37.8 and 38.9 since yesterday.. Plus a major headache to boot.. The feeling of being hit by a baseball bat at the back of your head.. Arghz!

Hee did I ever said that I was hit by a baseball bat before? A long time ago in Secondary School.. Hahaha... =) Anyway, I refuse to eat panadol, and I want to sweat out the fever.. But damm.. Despite wearing a thermal shirt under my everyday shirt, my body still refuse to sweat.. Hope it will soon, cos the feeling is unbearable now..

Anyway, Happy birthday Singapore.. Despite everything in my life, I still love and proud to be a Singaporean.. =) And I hate that I missed the fireworks.. Haiz.. =( And I still want to get the those huge posters of the NDP 1999, that was hanging on the street lamps all around Singapore.. Truly a memory of mine, that I will cherish.. If only I can get that poster with me in it, I will love that person till the end of time.. =) Haha!!

Also, though I don't know her name or where she is right now.. This is a long time coming, but I would like to apologise truly to someone I only know as Keren-Teng.. Truly, truly sorry.. I didn't know it hurt that much last time.. Haiz..

Adios!

P.S Note to myself.. It is noted in heart and writing.. Writing shall never be shown and in the heart will always be keep under lock and key.. Hope that peace will go wherever I am.. =(

2008-08-08T22:33:00.002+08:00

Hola!! Hmm am aching all over.. And I'm so so tired..

Well lets take a look-see.. Been helping out Zarah's dad in delivering some drinks to all the banks in the CBD area and nearby.. Arghz.. My knees and fingers are swollen.. My shins are cut and already blue black.. And my feet looks like I've just run a 10km run BAREFOOT.. Haha blame on my roughness.. Lols must be more gentle next time.. Time for a girly guy maybe? NOT!! =)

And I've really got to get new shoes.. 1 shoe that is the correct size but will leave my ball of the feet in pain (which I still have no idea why!!) and the other that is totally my favourite shoe ever but is about 1.5 size smaller.. Lols! I have normal size feet of 9.5 but this particular white Nike Limited Edition is size 8.. Grrrz..

Oh did I mentioned that the Nike is fake.. Lols.. Oopps.. Whateva! Hahaha.. Saw this particular shoe which I liked so much the other day out with buddy Alvin.. But it costs a whopping $200++ and even worse.. It only have 7.5.. Hah.. The luck of mine also shifting towards my shoes I see.. Damm!!

Yesterday also had a birthday catch-up party thingie with 1 of my receptionists, Cik Jas.. Me and Zarah bought cake, Mee and Satay but I seriously think that her cooked food outdone all that we bough plus others(if there was others.. Hee =P ).. Haha it may not be Part 3 of Food Journal, haha but guess can put a special addition there.. Haha seriously superbly, delicately yummy and deliciously.. Anyway, a shoutout of Happy Belated Birthday to her.. May all her wishes come true...

Left her house at around 1030, after which reaching home about 1140-ish.. Bathed and left house immediately to meet Khai.. He wanted to go JB so decided to tag along.. His aim was this blue trackpants, while a wallet caught my eye.. Yeah, I need a new wallet too.. =(.. But both of us decided no go in the end, and I bought 6 freaking DVDs.. Yay! Haha it includes the Mummy and 21.. Gonna haf a good lazing weekend this week.. =) Had supper at our regular KL Menjerit..

Me having Nasi Goreng USA, he Maggi Goreng Pattaya.. And Khai decided to get some seafood too.. Haha can't remember for my life now whats the fish name but we got fried squid too.. And it was just nice.. =) Chewy yet soft.. Hehe just my liking aite..

And yup.. You are not dreaming.. Haha I've been talking about food quite abit ya.. Haha though I don't each much, I just love my food.. Haha... Anyway, reached home about 3am. Bathed and send in some resumes before knocking out at 4am..

Anyway, luckily I woke up.. Haha supposed to leave my house at 7am but onli woke up at 7am!! Ooops.. Anyway rushed, but managed to get there in time.. =) I hate being late, unless I keep on being have to wait.. Haha yeah contradicting, but whateva!

And so, I've only slept 3hrs since I woke up at 6am on Thurs morning and I"m so tired now!! My back is shouting me to let him lie down already.. It it could talk that is, cos I'm not losing my mind.. YET! Haha.. So from here, take care and Adios!

2008-08-04T19:58:00.003+08:00

Hola!! Okay not really an update, but more of the videos that I want to show you guys..

Haha this is a funny video on asking Singaporeans to switch off their phones.. Personally, I've yet to encounter a phone ringing, but more of those irritating crunch of people eating.. Haha but its still a funny video that will crack you up ya!!

Okay, you might have seen this cool video of the Beijing Olympics, and its the video that sparked my curiosity on their advertisements.. Seriously cool ad, that is directed much like the Hit Movie, "300"..

Another cool advert for the Beijing Olympics.. This time taking on a "Transformers" version..

I'm sure you guys will agree with me that these adverts are getting cooler by the day.. Haha am so happy to see this.. And was one of my jobs ambitions really... Anyway, I saved the best for the last.. Unable to direct link it, so I'll just paste the URL.. Haha you'll gotta see it to believe it!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNK6jYvUw-Q

And the 3 below are the movies that I wanna watch!!!!

Haha I'm such a big fan of the Mummy series, that just looking at the advertisements give me the smiles.. =))

Okay, this might be a Kiddish movie but I'm such a big fan of Star Wars, that I just gotta see this.. Would you believe that I used to have the LDs of the first 3 movie, and VCDs of the last 3.. Haha but I'll bet this is 1 movie that I have to watch alone.. =(

Okay, this might be another Kiddish movie but man, I've been waiting for this for so, so, sooo long!! Been looking out for it, I think since Valentines Day.. Yup, the movie to watch for this year I'll say.. And if the only movie I have to watch in a cinema, this is it!!

Yes , I know Zarah, Wall-E again.. Hehe whateva!!

To whoever that said I'm old, I'm a kid at heart hokay!! Haha.. Adios!

2008-08-03T23:04:00.005+08:00

Hola!! Just a short update here, cos my eldest sis is rushing me to use the comp..

Man, its a such a WARM day today.. I just had a shower and I'm sweating again.. And its the 4th time I'm bathing today.. Damm!.. Guess I have to shower again before I sleep today..

Ooohh.. Had a big scare today too.. This dumb dumb accidentally spilled water on my 4 months old handphone, resulting in the main display to be blank white, and the memory card not being able to read.. Lucky it was okay, once I changed theme but was still scared to charge it or anything.. Must remind myself to be more careful.. Haha can't afford to damage or spoil this phone.. Hehe love it too much..

Had a quick, Okay not so quick, meetup with my best bud, Alvin.. More of a advise meet-up rather then catching up meet-up really.. But I treasure it so much, cos of our time constraints, its been I think 5 months since our last meet-up?? Lols long lehz.. If ya reading this, meet up more lehz...

But be strong aite buddy.. I can pray all I can, but I know that its just a case of you're thinking too much, and it will all get better.. Me, and my little friend, is cheering for you!!

A last picture for the road, of this weekend.. Of an unglam and tired me at 1am, so watcha expect!! Hahah and yeah I can't sing.. Lols..

From here, over and out.. Adios!
P.S Oh I've changed my blog music too.. =) Wasted by Carrie Underwood.. Go do listen to the lyrics.. Yup I like it.. Haha and yeah, I like Carrie Underwood too.. Haha talented and good-looking to boot.. Where can ya beat that.. Hahha

______________________________________________________________

Haha.. Yeah might as well...

2008-07-31T18:53:00.002+08:00

I'm High from the Lows of dissapointments.. =(

Hola! This has been 1 of my most dissapointing weeks.. Haiz.. The most recent is my failure of my TP..

It meant so much to me.. Much more than a license, but also a chance for me to prove all my critics wrong. To prove myself wrong! But yet time, and time, and time again I've failed to do so..

To get my own bike license, was just 1 of my childhood dreams.. And like all the others that have been laid to ground, I never manage to get it.. I really wonder what have I done wrong to deserve all this?

You may not get it.. I mean, Come on! It's just a motor license.. Its much, much more than that! I really don't know what else to do with my life..

I do so feel like giving up.. Giving up on my life.. But No.. I rather just be an automaton, then to admit defeat.. Brick Walls are there for a reason, and I will overcome it!! Trust me! I will not give up. Not before! Not later! And especially Not NOW! It will be me, and my faithful little friend.. Adios..

2008-07-27T22:53:00.002+08:00

My comedy pic of the day!!.. Heee someone is soooo going to kill me soon.. =)

Hola! Had a gud relaxing, but worrying day today.. More of the relaxing and less worrying please!!

After such a long break, finally took out my running and sporting gears today and had a short run.. Well, about 7km is short for mine standard.. Still pissed that can't manage to participate in this year Army Half Marathon and Sheares Bridge Run.. Grrz.. Will defintely take part next year!

But yups had a good run just now.. A non-stop running never stops to get my heart pumping and leave everything behind.. I think that is the reason why I love and excel in running.. I usually envision running and leaving behind the happiness and sadness, and all the worries of the living world!.. =) It maybe for a short while, but the 30-45 mins spent is worth it.. You guys should practice it too..

Hmm actually was watching the video of Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture.. You guys should see it but not from my computer of course beacuse it keeps on being disconnected.. Its about this professor with a terminal disease and giving a lecture about achieving his dreams, a video for his children.. Its really an uplifting video which you guys should see it.. I will upload the URL soon for your viewing aite, because I am going to see the whole damm thing soon too..

I wonder if I will ever achieve all my dreams like him? There's so many things yet to be done, and I am suprisingly seeing that I won't live long? Hmm who knows? But first up, my dream since Pri school.. That is having a bike license and a bike of my own.. I know, that in this time, bikers are not really looked upon, but who cares.. All I know that I will be hopefully achieving my childhood dreams.. So give me ur luck and pray for me aite..

My Traffic Police test is this thursday, and I have yet to go for any revisions.. My revisions will be 2 last minute sessions on Tuesday and Wednesday.. And I have yet to even renew my PDL.. Arhz.. Just thinking about it give me the jitters..

Okay Khai.. Breathe in, Breathe out.. Breathe in, Breathe out... There ya go.. =)

Having a clearer picture, and the way I see it, it will be clear and the mist will be uplifted soon.. Hope to have a good picture, rather than bad.. But I am pushing away all the bad thots that I am having, but wonder how long more.. Life is so hard, and pressuring, and stressful when you gets older.. I'm coping.. =)

Okay, tata and that's all for now.. Adios!

2008-07-26T20:35:00.005+08:00

Life will sweeps you by if you are just standing still

Hola! Khai here back from the wilderness of no-internet land.. Lols.. Hmm so much has happened in such a little time of 15 days.. Anyway 15 days since I last updated?? Haha thats a record I think, barring the time I was in NZ of course..

Anyway thanks to Zarah, for the little update on the 23rd.. And yups, wow that's such a resemblance to how I usually blog.. How many hours do you spent researching on it hmmmm... Haha.. But yeah thanks alot! And also a very BIG Happy belated birthday to Zarah, Ja Ja(her friend), Yasmin and to all others which I have missed.. =)

Hmmm, so much has happened that writing in this 1 entry alone is not enough, so yeah the past 2 weeks will be totally in my head for at least the better parts of my memory.. Lols.. Sounds morbid.. =p It has been an exasperating, yet fulfilling, Happy yet depressing, Fun yet boring, confusing yet clear, and just everything that is and yet is not.. Confusing? Guess it for yourself!.. Hee!

But I do wonder what is the purpose of my life in having some of the not-so-good experiences? Have I done something that evil in my past life, or is it just reminders to keep in check the evilness in me? I do so wish I can have the answer, and live the wonderful life that I KNOW, i do deserve. =( Have been pushing aside all the bad things I can do, especially recently, but I don't know ................................................... Maybe just thinking it, is bad enough.. =(

And yet, another branch of my memorable life will ends in 3 days time.. Yup, my last day will be on Tuesday.. I still gotta finish teaching my replacement (won't comment on her.. - enough comment don't ya think.. *Winks!) on the monthly report, make a manual for her and to do the roster for my beloved receptionists for August, but yeah, really, can't wait for it.. Woohoo! But as much as I hate the job, it has its joy.. Part 1 and Part 2 of our Food Journal is so successful don't ya think.. Haha give me pressure to exceed that, but can't wait for the next one yaawww! =)

Zarah: No matter what you say, this is still 1 of my favourite pics la!

Feeling so tired now! So, from here on out hopefully it will be back to the more regular updates.. From here, over and out from Khai.. Adios!

2008-07-23T00:42:00.003+08:00

Hola! Sorry for the lack of updates.. But my internet at home is currently down so i won't be able to update for quite a while.. And thanks to Zarah for this update and Happy Belated Birthday! Hehe.

Till my next entry, take care and adios! =)

2008-07-10T22:30:00.003+08:00

Not forgetting a shout-out to Weiqian Loser.. Take care of yourself in Aussie.. No more kopi-ing in the middle of the night.. Damm I gotta be used to do what you used to do.. Drink kopi at coffeeshop alone in the middle of night.. Study hard and don't waste the thousands you already wasted from your father's money..

"JB Tonite?" =)

2008-07-10T22:06:00.005+08:00

Hola! Been a very tiring week it is for me..

But comparably today, was a breather.. Don't know when was the last time I had fun at work, but yup today other than being happy managed to do quite alot of work.. All the way till 620.. Guess my full-timer receps know that I was feeling stress or what, so they did not disturb me at all today.. Even trying to get their own replacements for their holiday at the end of the month.. Thanks kay!..

Also thanks to Zarah.. Haha don't know why but yesterday night sms-es let out some stress for me.. Enough for me to be at peace at work..

But all comes to an end.. And not a moment too soon.. The luck of the Khai is back.. Bad luck that is.. Urghz! Can't really be bothered right now.. But seriously, the stress and pressure is getting to me.. Its also turning me aloof i think.. I seriously gotta take a break soon.. A good, long break where prefably I can relax under then sun, with a shady tree just above me.. Drinking from a fresh, cool coconut.. The chances of that? Nil!

Grrrz.. Take care and adios!

2008-07-07T21:50:00.001+08:00

Hola!! Lols sorry for that slip of mistake in saying I will update last week.. Heh arghz so tired!!!

I literally slept like a pig on Sat and Sun.. Woke up early around at 8am on Sat.. (A new Guinness Record under Khai!! =) ) to go to work as I had to cover for my receptionist.. After Friday kecohness, I was so literally shacked out for the work from 10am-3pm.. Haha was literally stoning from 1-3.. Lols more of a dead weight then a help I think.. Heee!! But what to do.. A tired Khai is a tired Man aye!

Well met up with Weiqian Loser for coffee afterwards to perk me up slightly, before going home straight to sleep.. Lols no food, but straight sleep.. Slept from 530 till all the way to 1130.. HUNGRY!!! RaWR!! Hee what to do.. So called down Khai, Weiqian and Yat for a midnight supper.. Lols ate rojak and was suprisingly full afterwards.. Haha and after which, we headed out for a rounding in Khai car for a while before heading home as all of us were tired..

Tired??! Duh!, Like hell yeah! Haha reached home somewhere around 2-3am I think, and slept all the way till 12 Noon Sunday.. Haha clean house, check mails, gaming for awhile before sleeping at 12.. Haha i claimed time off today so woke up at 8am.. And I still tired la!! Urghz! This job is sucking my life out!..

Haha oh and i got a theory why I'm so tired and want to leave the job soon la.. I'm doing too much for someone who has already tendered and hate the job!.. Hehe But as much as I hate the job, I'm glad to have worked at Eastpoint Mall.. Found out how a shopping centre works, and also met some extremely good people in the office, technicians, guards, and of course my beloved receptionists.. Chedebah!..

Oh did I mention I'm in deep trouble.. Oh no! Trying to solve this problem asap.. Wish me luck aite ppl.. Hee.. Khair (Hah!) signing out. Adios!

2008-07-02T22:21:00.002+08:00

Hola! Sorry for the lack of updates.. Like i tagged, my comp had this irritating virus where I can't go Internet.. As soon as I click IE, the Content Advisor prompt me that the website has no rating and I need my password to go in.. Firstly, I wouldn't ever put the Content Advisor, and secondly.. ITS YAHOOooooo!!! Grrz..

Bang! Bing! Bong! Hours later! CPR! 30 Chest compression with 2 quick blows.. Checking for brain.. Tada it was ready to go.. At 130am.. On a Monday night.. Sheesh! What luck.. Haha was so tired at work on Tuesday..

Even better.. Decided to join Striker, Yat Kovalainen and Mat Rep to go JB for supper.. After eating, waited for 2 superstars, before proceeding to a warong (thats something like a coffeeshop in Malaysia I think), proceeding to drink some tea and coffee.. I was dozing off.. Heads nodding. Without. Liste .. Zzzzzzzz

Hehe but was so seriously tired.. Amazing that today work went smoothly.. Did not do a perfect job, but there was no cock-up la.. Haha actually I'm proud of myself.. Yeah! Despite hating the job, etc, I still think I've done a good job.. At least I can go wih my heads held high..

Haha oh and yup.. My last day will be effective on 29th July.. Later then what I thought off actually, but with reasonable reasons of my own, decided on that date.. Just nice with 31st the special date.. My TP date.. Lols.. Quite dreading it.. Must do my best and memorise the test route in my head all this while..

Anyway was quite nervous about giving the letter of resignation.. As I was talking and discussing about the period of notice, my legs was shaking like a typhoon was just beside me.. My manager kept asking me to reconsider.. Which I "did" on tuesday, but I was adamant that I wanted to quit.. My manager was surprisingly and suspciously okay about it.. Even said will try to help me.. I don't know la k.. Something weird is going on.. I can just feel it.. Oh did I mentioned that today (wednesday), I officially tendered, Tuesday I talked to my manager about it..... And Monday was when I received my pay cheque.. Mat Rep said typical Malay, I'll say its just a coincidence.. Which it really is.. I did not expect my pay to come so early..

Now just gotta control.. CONTROL!! Oopps there goes $100.. Haha just kidding.. After paying the bills and debts I can afford to pay this month, only have like about $300-$400+? Sheeshez! Alright, going to zzzz.. Still haven't sleep yet since I came back from JB yesterday night.. Will update later tomorrow or friday.. Adios and hope you had fun reading this... =)

Oh and check out the 2 movie posters below.. Weiqian Loser and me was talking about the great movies of our times and I am so looking forward to finding these 2 gems and rewatch it.. Haha for those who haven't even heard of the movie, trust me and go do watch.. It will lift you up, no matter the circumstances, that you may be having right now..
Forest Gump

The Truman Show

2008-06-29T01:04:00.005+08:00

Holla! Okay, changed my blog skin again, and made some changes to the original.. And here it comes with my daily dose of stupid cartoons.. =) Haha looks definitely much better than the previous I would say.. Maybe even add / change some more things IF I have the time..

Oh and did I mention that this is the FOURTH time i went to blogspot.com today.. Super irritated with my computer now, as it keeps on restarting.. Oh weelll.. Looks like going to change my comp soon.. Not! Haha as if I have the money..

The money or $$$$ this is gettin really more and more depressing as times go on.. Had talks with this abang Senior Technician who is also feeling the brunt, with 3 kids on his own, and also a talk with Khai on the future.. Haha well I'm 22, and I'm already feeling it.. *Faint

But who knows.. Maybe I'm just putting all this pressures on myself.. No one is doing anything, but no one is telling me to do something either.. But I do know that, I gotta change job soon as the job is getting me nowhere really.. Going to tender in Tues, I think.. Haha wish me luck.. First time doing it, so not quite sure how to deal with the So-Going-to-be-Angry-Boss..

Oh yeah, Spain, the team I backed to win Euro is in the finals.. Didn't managed to catch the other semis where Germany got thru, but wow I'm impressed with Spain.. Sure Russia did not really test them much, but with the defensive frailties of Germany, even my sis can score past them.. Not to contradict but Germany do thou have the tendency to play extremely well, when the odds are bad for them.. So hmmm.. Tricky match this is I would say..

Finals coming up this Sun.. Woohoo.. Can't wait.. =) And going to my favourite aunty house tomorrow (or today actually when I look at the time).. Haha so expect another post soon, and hopefully with pictures..

Take care and Adios!

2008-06-24T20:17:00.006+08:00

Holla! As promised, here I am.. Even changed my blog's song to one of my favourite.. Haha do listen to it ya!.

Heee =) Been a few days since I posted but was kinda tired.. Haha too tired till not sure what I did this weekend? Haha or am I just getting older.. I'M NOT THAT OLD!!! Hehehehe.....

Anyway, yups let me remeber what I did.. Fri night after work went to slack with Ang and Khai (weird.. We're getting to be regular kopi buddies.. Lols), and Yat too.. Talked cock, and heard quite a few updates of the boys back in camp.. Haha miss the camp life now really.. Anyway, can't wait for the barbeque in July.. Just no last minute regular hiccups again, please..

Sat, don't remember what I did but mostly worked out for a total of maybe 2hrs.. Hmm that isn't healthy.. But not exercising is unhealthy too.. Damm! Lose-Lose situation.. Oh wells... Lols.. =p And Sunday was spent preparing the stuffs for work and a whole day of relaxation for another week of boredom and tiredness.. Hahz! Lucky I did though, cos my legs are so aching right now from all the walking in the mall these past 2 days..

Hmm.. That remind me.. Still yet to get the latest issue of Men's Health.. Anyone wanna treat me.. =p

Anyway, yesterday had a long-waiting family outing. Well, I just joined for dinner actualli as I was working. We had dinner at Seoul Garden, treated by yours truly my 2nd sis.. Haha thanks.. To be serious, that was my first time eating at Seoul Garden. Not really impressed, but hey still thanks.. Haha just wait till I get pay off all the debts and bills, will treat my family to a big, big meal.. =) Hope that just come soon thou.. =(

So without due, here are some pics.. Okay just 5 actually.. Lols..

My eldest sis and 2nd sis

Me and my mum.. Haha

Yummy!

Haha busy finishing up the food with everyone else giving up.. Lols

Okay this was last friday, and I was bored waiting for the door to open..

Anyway, a slight change to my plans. Maybe will work till I get a job of which I will tender with 3 weeks notice and a week to rest, or next Fri I will tender, or whichever comes earlier of course.. Urghz.. What to do.. A man gotta do, what a man gotta do.. Hate the stress of having these huge house debts to pay.. Its really killing me..

So to all who is suffering from a bad dose of luck in life, especially to Princezz Azie, don't look back, fight back and together we can overcome all trouble that come our way.. An optimistic way to look sure, but hey, if we don't do something, who will? So that's all for now and adios!

Might be changing my blogskin soon too, kinda bored with this current now.. Any opinions?

2008-06-19T22:14:00.003+08:00

Lols today was an unlucky day.. That's it for now.. Also totally din have the mood for work today, or rather no mood for any talk.. Clamp up in office I did for sure.. Aniwae haf a plan wat I am going to do now.. Hope I stick to it.!

2008-06-18T22:13:00.003+08:00

Hmm today was my last straw. Straw broken ad stepped upon. I just heard from an unclassified person that my manager not only complain to me to the HR that i continously came late, the CEO and manager was giving me strange looks. The looks I could accept but those complains?

Oh please! How would she know when she comes in later then me except once. And I have already emailed her that I would check my receptionist customer daily feedback book thus could only step in the office late. It does not mean that I was late for work. Omg! Made me pissed off. And you can't blame me that my stomach is a waste machine every morning. It should be obvious that I've already the office each morning as I strategically place my bag on my table EACH morning. How could that I be late when I take it back home with me each day? Arghz!

Oh and the Leasing people and the manager asked me to follow them to the 2nd floor so we could talk to the client. And they conveniently talked in Chinese, leaving me out of the loop and making me like an idiot standing there. I could swear my receptionist were laughing.

Bahz! Who cares. Just finished writing my letter of resignation. Will be submitting it either next Monday, Wed or Friday. Read online that most company will terminate you and ignore the 2 weeks notice. But hey, that means they will pay me.. Haha but don't think that I will be terminated (ask to leave on the spot) as of next Monday onwards, I will be the only one who knows how to do all the work. Anyway, and I promised my upperstudy that I will smoothen the handing over process. "Perfectly as I can!"

Wish me luck for the few days.. Getting unbearable at work..

2008-06-17T21:52:00.003+08:00

Work for the past 2 days went uneventful. As it has been for the past days since i started work. Well at least, was considerably busier and so time moved much faster. I dun mind that I barely have time to even go to the toilet, drink water or take a 5 mins breather, just that I can go home soon. Hahz!

Aniwae, kinda busier cos preparing to take over, as Aini, who I am taking over is leaving for another job. Think she was dissapointed when I blurted out that I wasn't going to stay long in the company. At least I kept the fact, that I might be tendering in soon instead of later. Gotta remember to placate her and at least let her leave with a peace of mind that things will be smooth. She has been there for 9 long years! Woah! Its a daring thing to move after such a long time. You never know it mught be better to stay. Aniway, best of luck to her. Cheers!

Oh.. And being the ever-dependable Khai, I will make sure that everything is perfect before going you know. I din't get Outstanding grading in NS for nothing ya noe!. LOLS!!

Oh and Ah Kiang!! Orite la.. Lols this type of thing also must give credit.. Haha thanks for Wei Qian for letting me see Euro Matches.. Don't know how many times I've said you in this blog.. Still not enough arhz?!! =p

2008-06-16T21:14:00.003+08:00

Arghz! What an unlucky time for me right now.. Wanted to just apply for the ICA job right after i get back home but the site has some problems and I must try again tomorrow..

Wondering if I should still carry on the plan of tendering in the job right now? All this double guessing is making things worse.. =( On one site, tendering soon would be morally wrong for me as I would just be admitting defeat and the person who I am officially taking over would only be leaving this friday.

ON The Other Hand..

I just can't take it there.. To me seriously, if there is no job satisfaction, I shouldn't be doing what I would be doing at the moment!

A few have been telling me to try apply for jobs while working.. But I can't even do that as when the jobs call me, I can't even make time to go for the interviews as I would be working.. My sis told me to cheat and consolidate all the interviews and take MC on that day.. I should do that maybe, but it just isn't in me to lie about these things.. Sure lil' white lies are okay, but general lies I would just be uncomfortable.. More advice plz ppl..

But.. But.. But what if, going to ICA and getting the job, is also as miserable as I am now?

The grass is always greener on the other side, I guess? I'm almost now regretting that I took up Business after all, and not Nursing which I also wanted to choose.. If I could turn back time, what would I choose in the end?

I guess I would never know, as I would still be choosing the choice by myself, and not having the guidances and advice of your loved ones? As I get older, I seriously feel jealous of those people with a perfect family! U had little guidance as my mum was busy working to support the family, and my sis were either studying or working too.. It was up to me, I guess then too study hard to achieve THEIR dream but I guess i just made all the mistakes by myself.. Everytime, whenever there's something big that requires a decision solely made by myself, I would just screw up.. Poly choice of diploma then, Choice of job now.. Why?!

Now I'm picking up my pieces.. Again as life has been for me, slowly but surely.. Maybe I'm just putting all these pressures on myself, but if it wasn't up to me, who would do it? Have just to buck up and work hard to pay all the debts owned including bills, Bills and more bills.. Hopefully, I can do what is both Mine and my Family's dream of getting a degree.. Gotta keep my head down, work hard and stick to my dream!!

Sobz.. All these pressure is choking the life and happiness out of me.. =( Getting slightly depressed.. Adios!

2008-06-15T23:41:00.003+08:00

Oh.. Haha and forgot to mention this.. Lols Welcome to the Euro 2008.. Okay its been going on for the past what 1 week? Lols but I finally watch some of the matches.. Croatia 2-1 Germany, Austra 1-1 Poland, Italy 1-1 Romania, Holland 4-1 France, Russia 1-0 Greece

Okay, the Austria vs Poland match has to be definetely one of the WORST match I've ever seen in my life.. It was as painful to watch as it was boring.. No idea in attack or defence.. Don't know how i managed to watch the whole match..

Unlike the Russia vs Greece Match.. Haha was not really excited to watch that match but wow it was great.. Box to Box attack throughout.. Was definetely surprised that they was that good.. Haha now that is 1 team that Singapore will defintely lose to..

Well at least the 2 favourites that I predicted are going strong.. Croatia as I said will definetly go all the way to the semis.. Modric is so good that superlatives would fail to describe him.. Tottenham definetely got a good buy on their hand.. They must be rubbing their hands in glee.. And the second for me is SPAIN! Not a fan of theirs but I would say as I did a month before.. They will go all the way to the final.. It may not be theirs but I think they will go all the way, and no hiccups along the way.. Their team just oozes quality..

And next.. A suprise for everyone I think.. Well for most that is.. Holland! Watching them trashed France was superb.. I bet no one would bet for them to win both Italy and France that way.. Haha might win it thou, but just MIGHT... But for now, they are the WOW team..

2008-06-15T23:10:00.002+08:00

Hola!! Urghz really hating my life right now.. Okay well not really hating, but I'm really wallowing in my luck right now.. =(

A month before ORDing, been sending out numerous resumes.. I think more than 60 actually.. None contact me.. I mean none.. 1 did eventually 1 week before ORDing, and I don't know why but i signed the contract..

Won't name the company or place I'm working at, thou my closest friends will know where.. I'm like totally unhappy right now.. Far from my house, small pay, lonely accompany.. Not that it sucks so bad, as the place and co-workers are actually quite friendly.. But I dunnoe, I'm just not happy at the place! There's even not a single ounce of job satisfaction..

And last week, about 5 o the resumes I send, call me back.. A week too late that is!! Arghz!!!

I don't know, whether I just don't like working, no job satisfaction or any of the reasons above, but I really can't take it anymore.. Urghz! But the person who I am taking over is actually leaving this coming friday, and I can't really shouldn't tender now, should I? Or should I? Please someone do advise.. Need help now.. Mood sucks.. And I got to go sleep now cos gotta wake up at 620..

DAMM! DAMM! DAMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ohohoho... Was walking with Khai Striker at Woodlands area just now.. Guess what i saw??

OMG! If you don't know what that is, those are the gaming consoles that are the rage during my time.. Sega Genesis 16bit.. Lols!! The last pic are the game catridges.. Can't believe there is still the consoles and games being sold right now.. I can't even believe that I have played and still have some of those game catridges!! I feel old.. LOLS!!!

Another of the nostalgic times.. The old school digital watch.. Heee.. Memories... Okay dokie! Gotta sleep so that's all for now folks.. Adios!

2008-06-07T23:28:00.003+08:00

Hola!! Sorry for the lack of updates. Kinda long huh. Well wanted to blog, LOTS to blog but kinda haven't the time nor energy to.

Lots have changed eva since the last post. Firstly, gotten my I/C back. "Huh?" you might ask. That means ORD loh!! Haha yup the long awaited moment has come.. But leaving with a heavy heart actualli. As much as i wanted to get out of army, will extremely miss my time being a soldier. One of the best times infact, coming only after my poly years as a whole.

"2 years is a short time, yours will come soon."

A very repeated cliche, especially in the army, but man how true it is! Didn't believe a single shit of that when my seniors and superiors ended their 2 year, but got a full blast of it. Collecting my I/C was a blast of memories for me.

Remembered when i first when into Tekong for the dreaded BMT. Kinda was scared and nervous. Looking at your I/C for the last time in 2 years. Having a 2 weeks confinement and to make new friends. Infact Tekong i would say was the most relax moment in the 2 years. You made new friends which go through what you are going through, through thick and thin. I remembered going through my last 24km route march. I had a high fever of 39.9 but my friends helped me push along the last stretch. Then at last we POP, saying bye to most of them was sad. Boon, CK, the 3 Shauns/Seans, Wei Ming, etc you are remembered!

Remembered when i finally checked my posting, seeing Combat Medic was dissapointing. Heard stories of gays and tough training. A bit of luck with Sean Tan of BMT being posted the same as me. Going into Nee Soon Camp for training, with about 2 test weekly. The first I/V was scary! I remembered that I missed 2 times before finally getting a direct hit with blood backflow. Then blanked out. Didn't know what to do and was kinda traumatised. Booking out for the first time, I was scared that I would hurt and not save someone. The nightmares and not being able to sleep, all because of the blank period after seeing that litle bit of blood. Pushed through my fears and managed to breeze through the course. Met Ang Wei Qian, the idiot that stayed in Sembawang with me. Now best of friends for 1 year 9 months. Seeing his face almost everiday, and being his bed buddy. How did we eva passed out Medic Course? Lols. Finally we POC, again saying bye to most was sad. Rhamdan, the 2 Navy boys, etc you are remembered!

Remembered me (KON), Wei Qian (AKS SON) and Farhan (NOB) new medics of 23SA, Hidayat (Yat Kor), Jeremy (Wan Pok) and Wah Hsing (Malaysia) of KTSC, and Steven (OCS dropout) and Fabius (Hairy Nipples) of 24SA going to our new home for the next 1 and a half years. Khatib Camp! Was happy cos Wei Qian was with me so had at least 1 fren that i knew. Was greeted with "Welcome to Hell", the first 3 words i heard of my unit. Moving to a new bunk that was totally dirty.Was given the role of Docu Medic within the 1st 2 weeks and signing the Handing Over/ Taking Over (HOTO) forms for the role in Decemeber from my upper study, Jimmy Tan Jin Teck. Was only there till 2 months before going to Thailand for an overseas cover. Ex Battle King, the best cover as Arty Medic you can ever get. Fun, fun times. Came back within 15 days and took 2 weeks MCs straight for Chicken Pox. Lols. Came back to camp with a heavy heart as troubles started piling in. Met Khairul Anuar (Khai Striker) of SAFFC fame for the first time, the first proffesional soccer player I know. Remembered when i finally broke down for the first time of my 21years life infront of someone. Haha Farhan was having some problems and i was giving him advice before finally succumbing myself. Thanks for the advices and you are remembered for life. The seniors was ORDing one by one and new medics and drivers came in. I was still feeling that 2 years was a long time. Shufi (Ah Pai) finally came to KMC, and together me, Wei Qian, Ah Pai, Farhan, Hidayat and Khai Stiker formed Team Boy Perancis, the originators never imitators. Remembered the tough times training and finally going to New Zealand for my first battalion evaluation. Was hit with a full blast of homesickness. Going back to nearing my ORD, the dreaded new of Mas Selamat escape and 23SA being activated to look for him. The memories coming in thicker and faster as IQAs, trouble with Warrant Lim, Ops, getting heavier resposibilities with me and Farhan having the burden of having to look after the whole medical platoon of 15 people.

Finally i come to hear. 2 days after collecting my I/C. 2 years is a short time. 23SA is but just a memory now and 291SA is the new key now.

P.S Re-posted an old poem of mine. If you can find it that is. The post is somewhere around the begining of the year.

2008-05-23T14:50:00.000+08:00

My cute lil cousin singing.. Aww.. =)

2008-05-17T21:08:00.005+08:00

Hola!! Okay just finished watching this dvd, "Fast Track: No Limits".. A great movie.. Sure, its about street racing - been there done that with all those Fast and Furious wannabees.. But watch it for the scenes.. Not sure if it will be out in Singapore, with abit of rated scences, but get a way to see this movies guy.. Not a great movie, but a movie worth its movie tix..

Anyway, watching this movie makes me think.. There's so many movies regarding street car racing.. But wait.. How about this?? Motor street racing.. Something different.. Don't know why but i would put Paul Walker as the lead and maybe Jessica Alba as the lovely lady in distress?? Woudn't it be great??

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Okay, talking about motors and racing, I was stalling for time.. You're right it might not be such an original movie.. BUUUTTT!!! Weeeeee!!! I passed my motor prac 7 jus now.. WOohoohooo!!!! Yes.. The long awaited.. No more lessons.. Just need to book my first road revision before being able to book Traffic Police Test.. Errmm.. Someone wants to sponsor me? Future street racer here..

Lols okay.. But seriously.. On cloud nine rite NOW!!!!

Had a good time since yesterday.. Went for the long awaited meet-up with the 4 poly buddies.. Me, Joleen, Alvin and Su Anne.. Was fun and good to catch up with them.. Kinda stupid to double post the photos so do watch out for it in my friendster soon aite.. Also posted some drifting scenes of my own in Youtube, with the Boy Perancis outing the previous time.. Anyway, had Sakae Sushi yesterday.. Not my kinda food, but its not bad.. Haha thai food the previous outing, and now Jap? Going oriental aye someone.. Lols.. =)

Anyway, the highlight of the day was catching Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay.. Haha seriously another movie, that you DEFINETELY have to watch.. Seriously hilarious.. Kinda a new convert.. Gonna watch the first Harold and Kumar show soon.. I couldn't stop laughing throughout the movie.. Lols, just watch the movie with humour and you will sure to laugh your guts out!! Outing ended after that but it was defintely a fun short outing with them.. Be sure to meet up again ya guys!!

With this outing, next will be my holiday at Batam with team Boy Perancis.. Wee I can't wait.. Haha will be super broke with this 3 day 2 night, but has been quite some while since I had a good holiday.. With Ahmad Schumache, Yat Kovalainen, Zaid Mat Rep, Lewis "Sadiy" Hamilton and your truly, Valentino Azri, we are going to wreck Batam upside down!!

Haha.. I'm in a good mood huh.. =) Life's good.. And I've been quite free huh lately.. Well.... You should noe... Seriously?? Scratcing your head??

Too bad.. For you to find out and for me to know!!

Okay.. I've been on "holiday" since tuesday.. Tuesday was when i booked out of camp and won't be booking in camp anymore.. Wee.. Sure i will go down someday to slack with the boys and do my clearance and stuff.. But.. You won't see me.. Boo Ya!! As much as I enjoyed my 2 years service, I seriously can't wait for it to end.. But sadly, 2 years have just gone by just like that.. Seriously, a repeated cliche for army boys but 2 years will just fly past you.. You won't feel it now, but when you're and Ord-ing personnel like me, you will remember the times.. The times of fun and torture.. But good times all day round..

But as for me.. I'll take my IC for now.. =) ORD LOH!! Anyway do watch this site for a re-cap memory of my times in NS soon aite.. For now, that's all!! Take care people and Adios!!

P.s Yat say I've been saying Adios, as if I'm acting Mexican.. Haha step faham.. Its my forte aite.. Lols!!

Oh and.. The lady of the moment is Melissa Reyes from Search for the Next Pussycat Doll.. Seriously talented and hot.. Do search her in youtube.. And you'll find out why.. Look in my youtube too for a video of hers..

2008-05-11T23:19:00.009+08:00

Hola! Back in camp right now.. Last time booking into camp, as long there is no hick-up that is.. After wednesday book out, will be on permanent off and leave.. Woohoo!!

Well yesterday night, had an outing with the fellow medics: Shufi (Ah pai), Yat (Yat Core), Rashidin (Boy Gelisah), Shaz (Rapper) and Zaid (Mat Rep), and his friend Shahirah.. We went to watch Iron Man.. Sorry to say, I don't really like Iron Man and Batman.. Cartoon and comics that is.. But wow the movie rocks.. A definite 4.5/5.. Hmm maybe even a 5/5.. Definetely a nice movie to watch.. Plus i like the part about S.H.I.E.L.D.. Lols for those who had a comic-y youth, you'll noe why if ya watch the movie.. And with the inception of Iron Man, I can't wait to watch Batman the Dark Knight, Speed Racer and Indiana Jones.. Haha Speed Racer looks sucky but well, just to remember the old days.. Haha i still remember the old cartoon of Speed Racer, and I just can't help smiling.. =)

After the movies, Khai (Striker) join us for supper at Jalan Kayu.. The usual place where i go is packed so tried the next door restaurant.. Can't really remember the name.. Ordered mutton chop and don't really like it, but Boy Gelisah onion prata is nice! Will try dat some time.. It was around 3 when we left to slack at Yishun/Seletar Dam.. Haha i love the place.. The sea breeze and the lights far-away.. If i have a vehicle, I will definetely bring someone there to slack and chat.. Other favourite place include Labrador Park.. I've heard about Kent Ridge Park being nice too, but haven't been there actualli.. Whaha... Wanted to buy some drinks and slack at Sembawang Park but it started raining heavily then.. So we went for some tea session at the coffeeshop near my place, before departing home at around 5+.. Lols!

Woked up around 240pm today.. Hee nice sleepy pig huh.. =p Since my mum was on off and today is Mother's Day decided to bring her out.. Lols in the end, we just ate a coffeeshop and went to my favourite aunt's house.. Really like to hang around them me.. A picture of a picture perfect family! Hope my future will be as bright as theirs..

Well that's all I have to say really.. Going to sleep.. On my last duty tomorrow.. =) ORD LOH! and a very Happy Mother's Day.. Take care and Adios! Oh ya, pics and videos will be uploaded as soon as I booked out so around Thurs? Haha cheers...